A Cry For Justice

Awakening the Evangelical Church to Domestic Violence and Abuse in its Midst

Prayer Requests

We at A Cry For Justice desire to come along side those of you who have been wounded by abuse. We strive to do this through our teachings and through praying for the victims that we are aware of. If you wish to remain anonymous, please feel free to do so.  Leave prayer requests in the comments section below.  If you would like to read previous years’ requests and comments click on one of the three links below.

Prayer Requests 2015

Prayer Requests 2014 

Prayer Requests 2013

Prayer Requests 2012

Some of ACFJ survivors have told us how God lead them to freedom from their abusive marriages.  We have compiled those testimonies here.  May you be encouraged!

Testimonies

32 Comments

  1. Concerned Mom

    I’d just like to ask for prayer for my child who still has shared custody with the abusive dad. I have lost over and over again in court (judge gives him whatever he wants), and our child had begun to stand up to dad and resist the mental and emotional abuse and now it escalated. I pray all night when my child is there. Thank you.

    (Eds. note: some identifying details removed to protect the identity of the mother and child)

    • Concerned Mother

      Things are escalating badly (close to her birthday) as the abuser is getting angry because she is seeing the truth and calling it out as she sees it. She wants to try to talk to the judge but the judge basically told me to sit down and shut up at our last trial, even when I was completely rational and calm, gave facts, not opinions, supposedly had everything going for me, and at this time, we are not poised to return. She doesn’t ever want to go back, and I hate making her. Prayers are so appreciated!! Thank you for this site, thank you!!

  2. collums74

    I will pray!

  3. collums74

    Please pray for a parenting meeting I have this week. The GAL and counselor involved are planning on recommending unsupervised visitations with their abusive father. The older ones stand up to him so he doesn’t want them anymore. The younger children are terrified of their father and he has done many dangerous and erratic things. I ask that you pray their visitation remains supervised as it is right now. That the judge’s eyes will be opened to the damage the abuse has caused the children. The prayers of Faithful friends and people on this site have been answered so far because the visitation has remained supervised for over 2 years which is basically a miracle in today’s family court. The hearing is this week please pray diligently for protection for these girls. If the ruling allows unsupervised visitation please pray that God will wrap these little one’s souls with strength and protection. It will be like a death sentence to us as many of you are already experiencing.

  4. Savedbygrace

    Praying x

  5. Lost

    Need prayer
    Don’t think God hears me, sees me, or has chosen me.
    I’m constantly stonewalled. Husband knows all the court tactics and will take kids if I leave again. He’s a master manipulator. A liar. Ups and downs in the confusing abusive cycle- I’m destroyed, exhausted, depressed, lost and my little kids are even against me. Theu always have been. Not their fault. He encourages it on purpose. They think I’m being mean to him because I’m standing up to him now. I bet he’ll kill me- I see his contempt and hate. I just hope I’m really saved. I’m so confused. My stomach hurts. I hate myself.

    • Jeff Crippen

      Lost- may the Lord bless and protect you. Go to your local womens shelter and ask for help. We can feel hopeless but God sees all. There is hope.

      • Lost

        Hi Jeff
        Been there done that. Mixed messages. They don’t believe in God and if they do it’s against they’re policy to talk about anything regarding Him. I’ll lose my kids for good if I do. He’s already been alienating me from the kids emotionally for years now. His family has money and they are just like he is to me. Things are escalating. It’s like I don’t exist here. I need to go somewhere but shelters aren’t very helpful in that I’m still stupid when it comes to being abused. I can’t see it until it’s bad. I don’t know how to be in healthy relationships period. I don’t trust anyone. I can’t. I’ve tried.

      • Lost

        Hi Jeff
        If He sees all, why doesn’t He see me and help me and where is He? No one believes me. I can’t stand the stonewalling. I’m dying inside. No one calls him what he is. They sympathize and defend and are also very diplomatic. I think I’m evil. “Pray more, stop being angry, talk more, he doesn’t understand he’s abusive, he has a lot to learn,” etc etc. They talk to him and he lies and justifies everything. I’m not safe here and I’m not safe out of here either. This will never end.

      • They may not believe you, but we do. All our team believe you. I think I can safely say that all the commmenters on this blog believe you (because we don’t let abusers and their allies comment here).

        The people who don’t call him what he is — I encourage you not to listen to them. If you hear their words and their nasty insinuations about you, and their foolish advice, I encourage you to put up a mental wall against it, so it doesn’t penetrate your soul and make you doubt yourself.

        God sees ALL. He sees the evil and the cover-up of evil. He sees the minimisation of evil. He sees how they are slandering you. He sees the foolish and dangerous things they are saying to you.

        Is God helping you? Only you can assess that, but may I suggest that He has helped you at least a little bit by leading you to this blog? I don’t want to big-note myself or any of the ACFJ team: I am only hoping to encourage you to consider that God may be working on your behalf, even if His light is only faintly getting thru the cracks of the prison at the moment. I recognise the reality of the heavy darkness you feel you are in. I don’t want to minimise or discount how unsafe you feel. You are the expert on your situation, and I honour you for how you have survived against the odds thus far!

      • Jeff Crippen

        Lost- You are not the first person to be oppressed and ask “Lord, where are you? Why do you not answer me? Why do you allow the wicked to oppress me?” The best answer I can give you to your just and good question – “why doesn’t he see me and help me and where is He?” – is His own Word. This is Psalm 77, and there are other Psalms like it. Read it through slowly. Identify with the Psalmist as he asks these questions of the Lord. Then notice how he remembers. He remembers back through history and how in Scripture the Lord has revealed Himself to be a help to His people and to all that call out to Him. His promise is that as we trust Him and keep calling out to Him, He WILL hear because He has done so before. Here it is –

        To the choirmaster: according to Jeduthun. A Psalm of Asaph. I cry aloud to God, aloud to God, and he will hear me. In the day of my trouble I seek the Lord; in the night my hand is stretched out without wearying; my soul refuses to be comforted. When I remember God, I moan; when I meditate, my spirit faints. Selah. You hold my eyelids open; I am so troubled that I cannot speak. I consider the days of old, the years long ago. I said, “Let me remember my song in the night; let me meditate in my heart.” Then my spirit made a diligent search: “Will the Lord spurn forever, and never again be favorable? Has his steadfast love forever ceased? Are his promises at an end for all time? Has God forgotten to be gracious? Has he in anger shut up his compassion?” Selah. Then I said, “I will appeal to this, to the years of the right hand of the Most High.” I will remember the deeds of the LORD; yes, I will remember your wonders of old. I will ponder all your work, and meditate on your mighty deeds. Your way, O God, is holy. What god is great like our God? You are the God who works wonders; you have made known your might among the peoples. You with your arm redeemed your people, the children of Jacob and Joseph. Selah. When the waters saw you, O God, when the waters saw you, they were afraid; indeed, the deep trembled. The clouds poured out water; the skies gave forth thunder; your arrows flashed on every side. The crash of your thunder was in the whirlwind; your lightnings lighted up the world; the earth trembled and shook. Your way was through the sea, your path through the great waters; yet your footprints were unseen. You led your people like a flock by the hand of Moses and Aaron.
        (Psa 77:1-20)

    • One thing you can be certain of, Lost, God has not chosen your husband!

      (God may bring him to faith later, but it is certain that he is not saved at this point in time. And with his intensely hard heart, he is likely to fight against God’s calling. His destiny is known to God.)

    • I am praying for you.

  6. Debbie

    Praying for you.

    • Not really Scared anymore!!

      Praying for you too!! I think have all been at that place where we feel like God doesn’t hear us and all around us are pointing accusing fingers. It is a hard, hard place to be. Praying for you. I was helped by reading the Psalms, knowing that David, A man after God’s own heart, felt like I did. I also spent a lot of time reading Joel. Knowing that there were locusts of all sorts just eating away but that God WOULD replenish. It has been a long long road. I went from having my tag be “Still Scared”, to “Still Scared but you can call me Cindy” , to hopefully able to change it to “not really scared anymore” ( If my computer skills will allow me to do it) . It has been 6 years since I got free. My kids are slowing healing and thriving. God is good. But it was a very difficult road.

      • Hey, I like your screen name, Not really Scared anymore!!

      • So glad for you, NRSA!

  7. I have prayed this today for Lost, Karen, Loves6, ConcernedMother, Collumns74, NewLife, FreedomGirl, Anna in the Temple, IamMyBeloved’s, AnotherAnon, Still Reforming, Not Too Late, Trying to Escape, Keeper, and all the many many others, whose names I may or may not know, who are dealing with abuse and its horrific consequences.

    A Psalm of David. Hear my prayer, O LORD;
    give ear to my pleas for mercy!
    In your faithfulness answer me, in your righteousness!
    Enter not into judgment with your servant,
    for no one living is righteous before you.

    For the enemy has pursued my soul;
    he has crushed my life to the ground;
    he has made me sit in darkness like those long dead.
    Therefore my spirit faints within me;
    my heart within me is appalled.

    I remember the days of old;
    I meditate on all that you have done;
    I ponder the work of your hands.
    I stretch out my hands to you;
    my soul thirsts for you like a parched land. Selah

    Answer me quickly, O LORD!
    My spirit fails!
    Hide not your face from me,
    lest I be like those who go down to the pit.
    Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love,
    for in you I trust.
    Make me know the way I should go,
    for to you I lift up my soul.

    Deliver me from my enemies, O LORD!
    I have fled to you for refuge.
    Teach me to do your will,
    for you are my God!
    Let your good Spirit lead me
    on level ground!

    For your name’s sake, O LORD, preserve my life!
    In your righteousness bring my soul out of trouble!
    And in your steadfast love you will cut off my enemies,
    and you will destroy all the adversaries of my soul,
    for I am your servant.

    (Psalm 143 ESV)

    • Anonymous

      Thank you Barb.

    • Anotheranon

      Thank you Barbara! I have really been needing some encouragement lately. Keep praying God will lead me step by step.

  8. Trying to Escape

    Thank you for your prayers. I just want to post an encouraging note. The Lord has delivered me from my evil abuser. The process to get free has been terrifying BUT I held firm and truly BELIEVED and PRAYED for the Lord to step in and fight this battle and He gave me the strength and endurance to persevere. I was reminded by Jeff that the battle truly is the Lord’s and He is Victor over evil. Don’t give up Lost.

    • Lost

      I am giving up. No one believes me out here. I’m starting to think I’m a monster. I hate him. But the bible says if you hate you’re brother you’re a liar and God is not in you right? He’s called me the devil. Maybe I am. I don’t think I’m saved. I hate my life. I need help and there is NONE.

      • Dear Lost
        it sounds to me like your head is cabbaged with the false accusations made by the abuser and the viewpoint he and your church have of you. (I read that expression years ago, in an account from another survivor. She said, “My head is cabbaged with him.”)

        I encourage you to say over and over to yourself:
        My husband is a liar.
        His accusations against me are wicked falsehoods.
        What he is accusing me of is what he does.
        He labels me with the wicked qualities he has.

        …if you hate you’re brother you’re a liar and God is not in you right? He’s called me the devil.

        Listen to John 3:20 — For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed.

        Your husband fights back when good people (like you) expose and denounce his sins. He seldom if ever confesses his sins freely, and if he does ‘confess’ any sin of his, he only does it to manipulate people. In contrast, you are by your own free will exposing what you think are your sins (e.g. punching your husband once, when he came home after being away for ages with no explanation) and opening yourself to feedback from any readers at this blog. You are not trying to keep your misdeeds in the dark. You are wanting to bring them into the light. That means you are NOT like your husband. You are the opposite of your husband. You (like any believer — we all still struggle against the flesh) are wanting to change so that you become more like Christ. You are open to correction: you do not fight against it! Can you see that means there is a VAST difference between you and your husband.

        Let me put this to you. By stating the truth that your husband is abusing you, you are actually loving him. You hate what he does so much that you are compelled by leading of the Holy Spirit to refuse to go along with it, to denounce it, to expose it. So you hate his conduct and his entitled attitude. At the same time, you are showing love: you care about your husband’s eternal destiny, and you care for your own soul, and you care for the endangered church which is in such darkness because it is wilfully blind to evil. You hate evil and lies. That is a loving stance to take. It is the stance God himself takes.

        The church at large is distorting Christian truth so much that they are preaching a false God — a god who does not confront and expose evil, a god who welcomes wolves into the flock and thus makes the church unsafe for the sheep, the true followers of Christ.

        When we are dealing with a hardened sinner (such as your husband) we love them by confronting them with their sin, by exposing their sin to the light. They hate it being exposed! They hate their evil ways being denounced! They fight back and they fight back hard. Whenever you have stood against the sins of your husband, whenever you have tried to set boundaries against him, he has fought you, he has probably escalated his abuse, and if you disclosed his abuse to others he has snowed them so they side with him. These are the actions of a wicked man who FIGHTS as hard as he can against having to give up his sins.

        This post by Ellie illustrates true love: I left him because I loved him.

        Your husband calls you the devil because he loves to revile you: to sling false accusations at you, to slander you, crush you, make you doubt your morality, make you doubt your good character. He constantly seeks to undermine your dignity and self esteem. He seeks to squeeze the life out of you. That is what abusers DO.

        Have you read Lundy Bancroft’s book Why Does He DO That? It will help you a lot I think. You might be able to borrow it from you local library.

        Also I encourage you to listen to Jeff’s 20+ sermons on Domestic Violence and Abuse. They are free. You can find a link to them here:
        http://cryingoutforjustice.com/resources/sermons/. They deal with the psychology and methods of sin.

        And I encourage you to keep reading the posts on this blog about how it IS godly to hate evil. You are righteous to hate the abuser’s conduct and mentality. He is not a Christian brother. He has never been born again. He is an unregenerate man. He is a wolf in sheep’s clothing. We are not commanded to love wolves in sheep’s clothing! We are instructed to avoid them, to have nothing to do with them (2 Tim 3:1-5). And we are commanded to expel them from the church! (1 Cor. 5:11-13). Your church is not doing that, and that means they are enabling the wolf.

        Here are some more posts about how it is right to hate evil:
        If you Are a Christian, then You Practice Hatred. Really!

        Anger, hatred, vengeance: – am I feeling them? are my feelings wrong?

      • healinginhim

        Don’t give up, Lost.
        Barbara has given great insight and encouragement.

  9. Lost

    I need help. No one believes me. They speak the way the blog about Erin states those people talked to her. I need help. I’ll inly be free if I run away and leave the kids. They already hate me because he let’s them eat candy and do whatever they want all the time. I have no help. Where is there a place I can go that believes what you Barbara and Jeff believes. You are the only ones I know who say it like it really is. I need a place to escape and a way to know more about what you guys know. I can’t live like this! The language out here is sympathic to him as a sinner. I can’t believe nobody knows what to do! I truly wish I were never born. One lady said I was overwhelmed emotionally and we could look at the bible. I told her I’m standing up- that’s what you hear!- I’m not just emotional. This is what standing up looks like- I’m angry at all of the injustice and passivity! My husband always wins. Always! He does whatever it takes and it works every time. People just love him. He good looking, fit and knows the bible well. He’s influential and charming and knows no boundaries. People love that!
    Somebody please email me with places or numbers to go.

    Jeff the dv places here don’t help as I’ve been there already. A lady even told me to respect him more. Seriously?! He’s the one that has no respect for me as a human much less a wife! I’m not crazy but these places don’t hear me. I need help with people that know what you guys know. Please help. I’m completely lost. I posted on here bc I can’t see if you’ve replied elsewhere to the request of a place and phone numbers thru email. So this is an easier location for me to return. I’ve clicked “notify me comments thru email” but it’s never worked so far

    • Dear Lost, I am concerned that you are not getting email notifications of further comments on a thread, after you have commented on a thread and ticked the box saying you want to get such notifications. We have never had a commmenter say that before. I am not blaming you, but this is a new problem which we haven’t faced before, so at the moment I am at a loss about how to fix it.

      If you read this commment of mine, please email me: barbara@notunderbondage.com
      In your email, tell me whether or not you got an email notifying you of this comment of mine.

      Also, do you believe it is safe for me to email you? As blog administrators, we can see your email address (at the back of the blog) but we don’t want to email you unless you are confident that your abuser is not monitoring your emails. Some abusers monitor their victim’s emails; they technologically spy on their victim’s email account. We would not want to email you if it increased your danger from the abuser.

      Here is the Cybersafety page of our Resources. You might like to read the links there.

    • Since the DV places near you have not helped, then maybe you might consider ringing your national DV hotline and asking to be put into a shelter (or for other suggestions), but not a shelter associated with the DV service you used before, because you had a bum steer there. Our Hotlines page is under our Resources tab, but here is a direct link to it. cryingoutforjustice.com/resources/hotlines/

    • Also, Lost, maybe you could create a new email address and comment from that. Make sure the new email address has a strong password, one that is not easy to guess. Make sure it is a password you have never used before and will not use for anything else. If possible, use a computer in your local library to do it, so that if your abuser has installed keystroke-tracking software on your computer or mobile device, he will not be able to know the password you have chosen.

      Then (still at the library if possible) use the new email address to set up a new WordPress account. Then whenever you want to comment on this blog, comment from that new WordPress ID. Preferably from a computer that your abuser has never had access to. I know that sounds tough.

      If you need coaching on how to do all this, email our assistant TWBTC. She often helps readers who are having problems setting up their WordPress accounts and other such stuff. :)
      Her address is twbtc.acfj@gmail.com

  10. Anna in the temple

    Hi Lost. I am not sure where to begin except to say I have felt like you did and despaired of life. In the end I saw God’s provision and even though I came close to death He brought me through. When I look back now I realise He preserved me even though I lost everything. I am sorry it is so hard for you now. Please hang in there. I will pray for you. Much love in Christ, dear sister.

  11. prayingformykids

    I’m wondering if you have any knowledge of Dr Gregory Jantz and his book called “don’t call it love” Couldn’t find him or his book on either of your recommended or not recommended resources lists.
    as well, wondering if you know anything about the “Center for Hope” in Edmunds Washington
    thank you

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