A Cry For Justice

Awakening the Evangelical Church to Domestic Violence and Abuse in its Midst

The Satanic Nature of the Abuser’s Mockery

Bearing shame and scoffing rude,
In my place condemned He stood;
Sealed my pardon with His blood.
Hallelujah! What a Savior!

Hebrews 11:36, “Others suffered mocking and flogging, and even chains and imprisonment.”

Mark 15:20, “And when they had mocked him, they stripped him of the purple cloak and put his own clothes on him. And they led him out to crucify him.”

We have already posted an earlier article on the abuser’s use of disdain and dismissiveness as a weapon designed to de-humanize his victim.  This article addresses a very similar tactic, and yet it is not quite the same thing.  While disdain can be very passive (no response, a roll of the eyes, a short verbal put-down), mockery is much more active.  It also targets the victim’s personhood, but more overt.

What does it feel lie to be mocked?  Ridiculed?  To be told you are a fool.  To be scornfully laughed at and treated with derision?  It is extremely painful and very, very damaging if believed.  The Apostle Paul spoke of it –

1 Corinthians 4:9-13, “For I think that God has exhibited us apostles as last of all, like men sentenced to death, because we have become a spectacle to the world, to angels, and to men. (10) We are fools for Christ’s sake, but you are wise in Christ. We are weak, but you are strong. You are held in honor, but we in disrepute. (11) To the present hour we hunger and thirst, we are poorly dressed and buffeted and homeless, (12) and we labor, working with our own hands. When reviled, we bless; when persecuted, we endure; (13) when slandered, we entreat. We have become, and are still, like the scum of the world, the refuse of all things.”

All the prophets of God were mocked.  Here is an example that Isaiah experienced –

Isaiah 28:9-10, “To whom will he teach knowledge, and to whom will he explain the message? Those who are weaned from the milk, those taken from the breast? (10) For it is precept upon precept, precept upon precept, line upon line, line upon line, here a little, there a little.”

Isaiah’s mockers spoke jibberish, making fun of the words of the Lord spoken by Isaiah — as if to call them nonsense and baby talk.  You can hear their devilish laughter.

And speaking of devilish laughter, we come to the main point.  Mockery is Satanic.  Especially in the hands of the abuser.  Satan is a mocker.  Many, many times as enemies of God came against the people of God, they evidenced this demonic quality of mockery.  Isaiah admonishes this spirit in Sennacherib when his armies came against Jerusalem:

Isaiah 37:21-24, “Then Isaiah the son of Amoz sent to Hezekiah, saying, “Thus says the LORD, the God of Israel: Because you have prayed to me concerning Sennacherib king of Assyria, (22) this is the word that the LORD has spoken concerning him: “‘She despises you, she scorns you– the virgin daughter of Zion; she wags her head behind you– the daughter of Jerusalem. (23) “‘Whom have you mocked and reviled? Against whom have you raised your voice and lifted your eyes to the heights? Against the Holy One of Israel! (24) By your servants you have mocked the Lord, and you have said, With my many chariots I have gone up the heights of the mountains, to the far recesses of Lebanon, to cut down its tallest cedars, its choicest cypresses, to come to its remotest height, its most fruitful forest.”

And think of Goliath:

1 Samuel 17:41-44, “And the Philistine moved forward and came near to David, with his shield-bearer in front of him. (42) And when the Philistine looked and saw David, he disdained him, for he was but a youth, ruddy and handsome in appearance. (43) And the Philistine said to David, “Am I a dog, that you come to me with sticks?” And the Philistine cursed David by his gods. (44) The Philistine said to David, “Come to me, and I will give your flesh to the birds of the air and to the beasts of the field.””

Perhaps the event in all of biblical history that saw the greatest concentration of mockers was The Cross:

Matthew 27:27-31, “Then the soldiers of the governor took Jesus into the governor’s headquarters, and they gathered the whole battalion before him. (28) And they stripped him and put a scarlet robe on him, (29) and twisting together a crown of thorns, they put it on his head and put a reed in his right hand. And kneeling before him, they mocked him, saying, “Hail, King of the Jews!” (30) And they spit on him and took the reed and struck him on the head. (31) And when they had mocked him, they stripped him of the robe and put his own clothes on him and led him away to crucify him.”

Enemies of the Lord are representatives of The Enemy of Christ, the devil.  Satan is a mocker.  Mockery is one of his favorite and most effective weapons, and therefore we as the people of Christ need to be very, very wise to this tactic.  And if you are the victim/target of an abuser, you already know mockery quite well.  Abusers mock-

  • Your appearance
  • Your accomplishments
  • Your interests
  • Your family
  • Your church
  • Your ideas
  • Your habits
  • Your decisions
  • The route you choose to drive to the store
  • The pets you like
  • The new glasses you wear
  • Your hairstyle, makeup, and wardrobe
  • Your friends
  • Your gender
  • Your music
  • How and where you sit
  • Your body and sexuality

Abusers mock everything about you and everyone associated with you.  It is a wicked, soul and body destroying campaign designed to murder you as a human being and turn you into a malleable blob of putty, easily shaped and controlled.

And you can hear him.  Y0u can hear the devil in the mocking words.  He has a certain tone.  Mockery is Satan smiling.  It is hatred grinning at you.  It is pure evil. Without conscience.  Without empathy.

So when the mocker comes your way, realize who he is and what he is doing.  Reject his ridicule with the truth of Christ.  “We know you, Satan.  We see you.  You are a murderer and a liar, the very father of lies.  We belong to Christ Jesus.  You have nothing in us.”

James 4:7, “Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”

7 Comments

  1. Jim

    I was in church once and I was pretty bitter at that point as I remember, but for some reason that day I was getting into it, humming with the music. Then I notice to my right, there are two boys who used to give me a lot of crap, one imitating me, the other laughing. That was very disturbing.

    • Yes Jim, that would have disturbed me too. It would have got right under my skin. That’s the sneakiness of mockery, it’s tailored to strike right at our vulnerability, and it’s often disguised as jesting, which means it’s hard to denounce the mocker. Thanks for sharing.

  2. Victoria de la Cruz

    I realize this is an old post, but I saw it linked to today’s post on Goliath. I was surprised to see only one reader comment on this topic, because of all the subjects of discussion over the past couple of months since I’ve been following this outstanding blog, this one hit me right between the eyes.

    This in particular:
    “Abusers mock everything about you and everyone associated with you. It is a wicked, soul and body destroying campaign designed to murder you as a human being and turn you into a malleable blob of putty, easily shaped and controlled.”

    My ex was and is a mocker. Yes, he raged, he was violent especially with the kids. He was controlling, petulant and self-centered; he used the Bible as a weapon. I could go on.

    But the most soul-destroying thing he did over time to wear away at my personhood like Chinese water torture was the constant mocking. He was also overtly critical and constantly complaining (which is somehow easier to disregard even if it offends and angers), but when it turned to mocking, I felt diminished.

    The above list is a good one. I can check them all off and then some.

    I am safely away from him now, separated for over three years, divorced for about half that time, and living on the other side of the country. But to this day, while I am growing stronger and feeling more like myself, I feel sometimes like I am looking over my shoulder and second-guessing decisions and choices…..like they will be mocked.
    The damage is long-term, I’m afraid.

    But I am thankful for allies like you and resources like yours to give me perspective and a check on reality. I am not alone, and *somebody gets it*.

    • Jeff Crippen

      Victoria – Thank you and we are very glad you have found us and are benefitting from the articles and comments. Nope, you aren’t alone!

  3. Seeking

    Hi Jeff

    I realize this is a very old post but I have just started reading this blog and am enjoying it and benefiting from all the advise and suggestions given by you, Barbara as well as the readers. I was and am to a certain degree a submissive wife. My husband is quite pushy and opinionated and I find it difficult to stand up for myself without arguments. I do not like confrontations. He mocks my clothes and appearance at times. He also criticizes my son’s appearance like his weight. He dislikes some of my friends and discourages me from inviting them to my home or going out for a meal with them. He tend to criticizes my family, their clothes, lifestyles, etc, like so and so did not get married and how she has wasted her life and not doing anything worthwhile. If I said anything about his family, he would get upset. When we were dating he seemed to be a different person and he would refrain from saying anything negative about me. I am struggling to respect him. Sometimes I keep quiet just to avoid arguments.

    I cannot divorce him or separate from him for these reasons but there are days I get so depressed and filled with despair because there is no way out. He has not been working for the past few years and stays home and look after the children. Since he started staying home, he indulges in porn. I like going to work as this gives me financial independence and a certain degree of freedom. Previously I could not even pray about what I was going through because I felt that I chose to marry my husband and God expected me to live with the consequences. After reading the various articles, I do not blame myself so much. But I still need the assurance that God is not displeased with me for marrying my husband. What can I do to help myself? How do I know God is with me?

    Seeking

    • Jeff Crippen

      Seeking – Year after year we have seen the very same patterns, the same wickedness, the same church responses, the same damage to victims, that we began to write about some five years ago. In fact Barbara’s book is several years older than that and I preached my first sermon series on abuse and abusers in 2010. The point is, that even though (as you are finding) you read through older blog posts here, you will find our messages consistent. Abusers are of the same ilk. They are of their father the devil. Their tactics are taken right out of his book so that it is as if they have all gone to the same school. So what you are doing in going back and reading the posts here is an excellent and very profitable exercise that will certainly continue to bring you out of the fog and deception of abuse.

      Abusers do not need respect, so don’t feel as if you must respect him. More often, if it can be done safely, they need firm boundaries set and consequences for violating those boundaries.

      You feel as if there is no way out, and I certainly understand the despair. However, most all of the other readers of this blog have been there in that despair. Some of them are there now. But many will tell you that in the end, the Lord delivered them over time. I suggest that you are indeed moving toward freedom though perhaps it seems slow. You are working and as you say that employment gives you some financial independence and a measure of individuality and freedom. That is huge! Many abuse victims do not have those kinds of resources. In addition, as you say, the Lord is opening your eyes more and more to the nature of marriage, of divorce, and what God really thinks about those things. You said that at once time you believed “this is it. I’m married to this man. This is my life now and God expects me to live in it.” Now you are beginning to see that this is simply not true. And you are seeing that in fact the abuse is not your fault but originates in an evil man who regularly launches typical abuser tactics against you.

      If you are in Christ, if you love the Lord and genuinely desire to please Him, you can be assured that God’s favor and blessing are upon you. The Lord is kind to His people. He sees them when they are oppressed by the wicked and His will is to set them free. His wrath is upon the evil doer and He will most certainly bring the wicked to judgement.

      What can you do to help yourself? Continue reading here. Interact as you feel like doing so and find real validation by others here to are wise in regard to evil and who genuinely love Christ and people just like you. It is also a great help to read the books listed on our resource page.

      Finally, how can you know God is with you? The fact that you desire to please Him, that you are being oppressed by a wicked man, that you are beginning to see the Lord’s truth about this evil, is all indicative that you are a person who knows Christ. It is by His Spirit that our eyes are opened to truth, and yours are being opened. In days to come, you are going to grow in the wisdom and knowledge of the Lord and your assurance of His love for you will strengthen.

      May the Lord bless you and keep you and lead you into His wisdom and freedom. May He judge and defeat your abuser and one day send him away from you.

      Many blessings in Christ,
      Jeff

    • Seeking, God is certainly not displeased with you for marrying your husband. Your husband was showing a phoney nice-guy persona and was very convincing in his masquerade. You married him because he craftily conned you into it. He knew he wasn’t really nice, he knew he had antipathy towards your family, he knew he felt critical of things about you but he HID all that till after you were married.

      God is displeased, indeed he is very very angry, at your husband for all his deception and manipulation. He is also very angry that your husband is using porn to indulge his fleshly desires at the expense of the women in those images and in complete disregard for YOUR feelings.

      But God is not angry at you. He knows you were conned. He knows you are feeling oppressed and unhappy and he supports you and honours you for all the ways you are creatively resisting the abuse and trying to maintain islands of safety so your husband does not completely erode your self esteem and personal dignity. (see this post for more about honouring the victim’s resistance). God will support you no matter whether you choose to stay or leave your abusive husband. And God certainly condones divorce for domestic abuse.

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