A Cry For Justice

Awakening the Evangelical Church to Domestic Violence and Abuse in its Midst

“So Help Me God” — A Song By “Fireflight”

I came across the band “Fireflight” recently, not even knowing they were a Christian band. I enjoyed their music a lot so I decided to buy their first CD on a lark. Imagine my surprise when I came across the following song, “So Help Me God”. Honestly, this just isn’t the kind of thing Christian musicians typically write about: leaving an unhealthy or abusive relationship.

I contacted the band and expressed my admiration for writing so boldly about relying on God’s strength to LEAVE a unhealthy relationship rather than the strength to STAY in one that many of us have heard preached. I also asked if they would see the ideas represented in this song as being applicable to fleeing an abusive relationship even if it were a marriage (I wouldn’t want to misrepresent someone’s art). Dawn Michele, the band’s singer, responded to me and affirmed this song would apply to a marriage being destroyed by abuse. She also gave us permission to reproduce these lyrics on the blog. She (and we at ACFJ) hope that this song can be an encouragement to those who are or have been in these kinds of marriages.

So Help Me God

You sit beside me
And I love you
But I hate you
I don’t want to feel this way but I can’t stop
You reach for my hand
But I move it
Before you can
I won’t let you have the power once again

So help me, God
To let this go
To let this go
So help me, God (Become what I believe)
To break this hold (I’m afraid to leave)
To find myself (I just need to breathe)

You think you know me
But you changed me
Into somebody
That I don’t ever want to be again
I’m letting go now
Of this burden
I’ve been holding
I’ve been hurting myself now for way too long

So help me, God
To let this go
To let this go
So help me, God (Become what I believe)
To break this hold (I’m afraid to leave)
To find myself (I just need to breathe)

It’s not too late
It’s not too late
To leave it all behind
It’s not too late
It’s not too late

So help me, God
To let this go
To let this go
So help me, God (Become what I believe)
To break this hold (I’m afraid to leave)
To find myself (I just need to breathe)

I will note that Fireflight is a pretty heavy band, so if you aren’t into heavy rock the music this may not be your thing (but if you do, they are quite talented, even pitted against secular musicians). To thank the band for letting us post these lyrics I’m including a links to the band’s web page and the album on iTunes at the bottom of this post. Two other songs by them that are worth checking out are “Unbreakable” (about the strength given to us by the Lord to stand up against our accusers and those who would harm us) and “Brand New Day” which is about getting out of a dark place and facing the world.

http://fireflightrock.com/
https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/unbreakable/id275067034

8 Comments

  1. Reblogged this on Speakingtruthinlove's Blog and commented:
    If you are in an unhealthy relationship, this article and song is for you.

  2. Great post Jeff! I love this band and I LOVE this song!! I hadn’t heard it until the other day. It is SO beautiful. It is so good to know that the band recognizes that you need God’s strength to leave a bad relationship.

    • Memphis Rayne

      Well for anybody that is on the edge of the realization that the odds of their abusive spouse may NEVER change….I believe that Third Day wrote a song called “Its a Shame” I remember coming across it, as i was still in heartbroke mode over knowing this relationship was forever doomed. I still cry when I listen to it because I think every abused person comes to this point of realization. This band Fireflight is awesome, and being pre-disposed to the Grunge era I do like their music. = )

      • Jeff S

        Wow, I have that CD by Third Day (in fact, it’s the only CD of theirs I have) but I’d never paid attention to the lyrics of that song before- it is quite powerful. Thank you for mentioning it.

  3. Laurie

    Love this band. I used to be in a religious group that would have banned someone who listened to this kind of music. But my daughter found them and they really spoke to her. So I listened to determine if they were “kosher” and fell in love with the music…definitely rocks and great music videos. The lead singer, Dawn, is so real in the Lord. She’s testified of going through tough times and drawing closer to Jesus. Sometimes other forms of music can speak to the noise of the pain in a person’s life.

  4. “You reach for my hand
    But I move it
    Before you can”

    How I resonate with this. It illustrates the small but very important ways we victims resist abusers. Moving my hand away can be a profound act of quietly but determinedly saying “You will not control me; I am my own person.” And in another case, leaving my hand to be touched when the abuser is reaching out for it can be a way of resisting and avoiding his rage that would likely ensue if I pulled my hand away.

    I would think that every survivor has used both of these strategies on different occasions: pulling away from the abuser as a subtle declaration of independence, or suppressing the natural impulse to pull away in a well-judged attempt to prevent trouble boiling over.

    • Memphis Rayne

      Just had to add YES that verse Barb is so true. Like in a church setting when they reach for your hand, but you want to resist, yet if you do then YOU look cold and unforgiving, at the same time if you show affection then the vote swings back to “she must of exxagerated, or else why would she be sitting next to him?” All these thoughts of no way out swirl in your mind, then you succumb because regardless of what judgement falls upon you from the masses, you are the one going home with him, and if you resist the touch the price is higher for you than the slur of comments within zombieland. OH I know this all too well, even with no emotion left inside, I felt I had to let the MIW touch me, hold my hand, so the MIW could look better, feel better, full knowing that letting the MIW “console” me was in the same swing of the bat killing all my credibility, why? After all?would I let a monster touch me? so sad.

  5. Finding Answers

    Barb commented: “I would think that every survivor has used both of these strategies on different occasions: pulling away from the abuser as a subtle declaration of independence, or suppressing the natural impulse to pull away in a well-judged attempt to prevent trouble boiling over.”

    There were a few times I pulled away, when I was distressed or upset. I always thought it was because I was stubbornly refusing to be comforted. Wallowing in the pity party, so to speak.

    In hindsight, I am thinking my anti-x’s attempts to comfort were not genuine. Perhaps, at some level, I was picking up on this and rejecting it as false, an attempt to manipulate.

    And as I write, I remember pulling away from my family of origin as a child. Perhaps here, too, I was rejecting false comfort and attempts at manipulation.

    For me to pull away was / is unusual, because I am very much a person needing touch for comfort and reassurance.

    Food for thought….

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