A Cry For Justice

Awakening the Evangelical Church to Domestic Violence and Abuse in its Midst

Psalm 94 — O God of vengeance, shine forth!

O LORD, God of vengeance,
O God of vengeance, shine forth!
Rise up, O judge of the earth;
repay to the proud what they deserve!
O LORD, how long shall the wicked,
how long shall the wicked exult?
They pour out their arrogant words;
all the evildoers boast.
They crush your people, O LORD,
and afflict your heritage.
They kill the widow and the sojourner,
and murder the fatherless;
and they say, “The LORD does not see;
the God of Jacob does not perceive.”  (Ps 94:1-7)

Who rises up for me against the wicked?
Who stands up for me against evildoers?
If the LORD had not been my help,
my soul would soon have lived in the land of silence.  (16-17)

Can wicked rulers be allied with you,
those who frame injustice by statute?
They band together against the life of the righteous
and condemn the innocent to death.
But the LORD has become my stronghold,
and my God the rock of my refuge.
He will bring back on them their iniquity
and wipe them out for their wickedness;
the LORD our God will wipe them out.  (20-23)

Now over to you readers: feel free to tell us what this brings up for you.

And for those of you with sharp memories, yes, we’ve had a Sunday post on this Psalm before, but the ACFJ team is stretched right now so I think it’s okay to feature it again.

47 Comments

  1. I feel like no one recognizes abuse. My husband was arrested & charged with assault & removed from the home. He has a massage parlour addiction. I was so thankful because I had no idea how to get away from him, we were living in my home where I had lived for years before meeting him – he kept yelling at me that I should be the one to leave if I wanted out of the marriage. I figured out that He has been scamming me financially in a sneaky, underhanded way as well. it seems like the entire system considers him the victim and are so eager to put our small child in his care. I am paying my lawyer a lot of money and she is pushing me so hard, I feel like she is working for my abuser. This psalm is soothing to the soul – I know we should not fret when evil men succeed in their ways. It feels like no one recognizes that my husband keeps choosing evil and my daughter is not safe with him. I don’t know where to turn for help except entrusting her to God. I don’t want her to be harmed before people will listen to me. I have read a lot of Lundy Bancroft’s writing and my eyes are open – he is onto guys like my husband but I am surprised that lawyers, judges, child protection agencies and children’s lawyers who see evil on a daily basis don’t recognize this stuff. It is scary to go through the system knowing my small child may be thrown to the wolves and not be safe in her life if my husband’s true character is not shown for what it is.

  2. 7stelle

    It brings frustration. The abuser gets away with SO much and I’m usually told, “Well, he won’t get away with it someday.” Practical, tangible help is far and few between from those that offer this. It is hard to find consolation in that when you still have to live here and be subjected to all the injustice.

    • Psalm 37

      My thoughts exactly, 7stelle!

  3. Desiring healing

    God had it this way. I have been dealing with my “wicked oppressor” for 5 hours just trying to make arrangements to simply get our son from his location 5 hours away to my location so our son can go to camp in 34 hours. Dad does not know but our son has never met anyone going to our church camp, but when I asked my son if he really wanted to still go since his friend was not going his response was ” it is a week I can get away from my dad”. Big words for an 11 year old. I encourage myself by reminding myself that the accusations and expectations he slings at me do not have to stick. Because of the cross, I am flawless and my identity is as a beloved daughter of Christ who knows my heart is not filled with vengeance but seeks justice. I needed this reminder of what is to come for him and his desire to bring pain to me. So thankful for my healing journey and that I don’t have to feel guilty for standing up to him when he shows no remorse or reconciliation. Let’s not even touch his lack of providing for his family – making him worse than an infidel. Thank you for letting me share and thank you for your much encouraging REsharing.

  4. a prodigal daughter returns

    This passage is very relevant to me on a Sunday when I have no church to go to while my adult children attend the gay pride parade in honor of their father that abused me spiritually, emotionally and mentally. We met in the church where he taught bible studies. He was closeted gay and for nearly 20 years hid it from everyone. When he left me with no child support, I was unemployed and without a car, he was celebrated in the gay community as courageous. Meanwhile people at church asked me such things as “what did you do to make your husband homosexual” As a divorced woman I was excluded, fit in no where and the shame of his lifestyle made people separate themselves from me in the fundamental world I lived in
    Meanwhile my ex told me how wonderfully accepting the gay community was, he promptly went on a gay cruise and met more and more friends that celebrated him for being a hero for abandoning wife and children to be true to himself. Within a year I remarried a more abusive man while my children believed their dad was only abusive because he was repressed by society. He has since had fist fights with gay lovers too so…right… Meanwhile I’m supposed to keep my faith to myself while my children go to gay bars with their dad for every life milestone . It is all upside down and something I really notice as Christian ministries embrace this legislation while appearing to care nothing for the fastest growing homeless population in the US:, single mothers with children.

    • Brenda R

      A Prodigal Daughter Returns,
      Some people just don’t use the opportunity to keep their mouths shut before they say something truly stupid. No one causes another to sin, you didn’t and can’t. I can’t even imagine the hurt you felt by what was said to you by obviously ridiculous people I understand your dilemma of marrying someone more abusive, been there and done that and not going back no more. I have quotes in addition to scripture that help me when the world seems upside down and right now I think our entire world has drank far too much of the rainbow koolaid.

      I would rather be alone with dignity than in a relationship that requires me to sacrifice my self respect. Mandy Hale

      Submission doesn’t mean putting up with abuse. LoveHonorandVacuum and I add…..no matter how many times we are deceived. I pray that we learn the red flags with bright, brilliant red as to not be deceived again.

      Your children are being deceived, just as you were. I will pray for them to face truth and realize that you and God are not the bag guys here. Allow your faith to be radiant and Spirit filled. Do not hide it under a bushel no matter who wants you to do so. Put God first in priority of everyone else.

      ((((HUGS)))), Brenda

    • Prodigal Daugher — your story leaves me without words.

      All I can do is honour you for remaining true to our Lord in the face of immense neglect and iniquity!

      • a prodigal daughter returns

        Thank you Barbara. This means a lot. The song “give me Christ or else I die” is the truth that keeps me breathing. Few know the courage it takes to continue to hold on. I do so for grandkids because I am the only Christian in their lives

    • Dear Prodigal Returns, my heart grieves with you for your losses..and, tho it may not feel like it ,.. you are an incredibly brave woman to have weathered those storms.. and kept your faith.. you are light and salt, a testimony to the truth ..even without a word… your faith is going out to those around you and especially your children -who know you.. will not fail to notice.. trust the Lord to be your vindicator. I pray that you will find a loving faithful community of believers who can comfort and stand with you. x

  5. Seeing Clearly

    “My God, the rock of my refuge” brings back the scripture of Moses being placed in the cleft of the rock and Fanny Cosby’s hymn, “He hideth my soul in the cleft of the rock”. There is a place deep within me just like this cleft. I discovered it in a very desperate time when I could find no safe place within or without to rest from anxiety and torment. It was as if God opened a way for me to ‘see’ this place and rest there in complete safety. The covering of God’s hand is exactly as my earthly father’s hand. Tho’ he died before I was 20, I still feel and see those strong farmer’s hands, with my entire little hand closed, enveloped in his palm.

    • 7stelle

      I have voiced to others and they to me, ” I am (You are) between a rock and a hard place.” A few years ago the song, “He hideth my soul in the cleft of the rock” came to mind. I had forgotten this; thank you for your post, bringing it back to remembrance.

  6. Pam

    Dear ACFJ…i have been subscribing to your emails for a year now and learning so much. I am believing that God will provide my vengeance and all our needs. Thanks for your passion and time…its providing strength and validation to women like me.

    • Hi Pam,
      Thank you for your comment and your encouragement! Very glad you are finding help. And you will see that I edited your screen name a bit to protect your identity. If you haven’t done so already, may I suggest you read our New User’s page as it gives tips for remaining safe when commenting on the blog.
      Welcome!!

    • Hi Pam glad you have been finding the blog helpful 🙂

      We always encourage new commenters to read our New Users Info page, but I’m guessing you you have already done so. 🙂

  7. Barb

    When we read God’s word, we have to believe Him. Psalm 103:6 says, “The LORD executes righteousness and judgment for all that are oppressed.”

  8. healingInHim

    Yes, Barb, it definitely was okay to post this Psalm again.

  9. Psalm 37

    This was a psalm that I put my hope in, but now it has become a trigger. I’ve had seven years and counting of injustice and revictimization in family court with the same corrupt judge enabling the abusive sociopath. Every day I wonder why God refuses to avenge me and deliver me from this unending torment.

    • Yes Psalm37, your were in my prayers this morning. I think that cases like yours show how the US system (where the same judge deals with the case no matter how long it goes on) can produce horrific results for abuse victims. In jurisdictions which don’t require the same judge in every instance between the given two parties, there is less chance that such grave iniquity can be done. Just my thoughts. I know it’s no comfort to you. 😦

    • 7stelle

      This is so heartbreaking!!!

      Corruption is everywhere and it’s coming from the top down. Evil is good and good is evil.

      Praying for that judge to be removed from your case.

    • Brenda R

      Psalm 37,
      I am praying for you. Judges are voted in. I will pray also, that this one is voted out!!
      Brenda

  10. Nannygranny

    Vengeance is mine says The Lord. We the victims of abuse may not see justice this side of heaven. But God is merciful AND just. He will be our vindicator

    • Hi Nannygranny, welcome to the blog, and thanks for sharing! 🙂

    • healingInHim

      Amen to Nannygranny’s comment.

  11. I pray for the Lords deliverance, and protection from my tormentor, whos continued abuse of me and family is just another one of his compulsive addictions.

    Since the Lord created a “Wall of Fire “to protect the Israelites, when the Egyptians were pursuing them near the red sea, I also ask the Lord to put a wall of protection between me and my tormenter to keep him at a distance .
    Also the Lord slowed down Pharaoh’s charriots to keep them from catching up to the children of Israel, which was another form of divine intervention.
    So I find myself often praying for the Lord’s intervention, “to put some jams in my abusers plans” against me, so that I too can escape.

    He jammed the wheels of their chariots so that they had difficulty driving. And the Egyptians said, “Let’s get away from the Israelites! The LORD is fighting for them against Egypt.”

    • joining in prayer with you Standsfortruth.

    • Brenda R

      After 2 months of peace because of changing my phone number, the xh was at my apartment sometime during the night. He has left a bag of “stuff” that I had left behind 2 years ago. Just when I think the enemy has retreated, he returns. To say that this was triggering and creepy is an understatement. I was shaken throughout. I managed to make my way for worship, but felt like jello. The sermon that the preacher brought was truly God sent to me. He titled it, “Praying for Protection”. If anyone needed to hear that message, it was me. This preacher was from another church participating in a pulpit swap. God knows what we need so far ahead of when we do. God is truly good and worthy of ALL praise.

  12. IamMyBeloved's

    How about I share what I don’t see. I don’t see sin leveling. I don’t see the words that make the wicked and the righteous on level ground. I don’t see the author talking about how he needs to bring the Gospel to the wicked. I don’t see an invitation to the wicked to join the righteous. I don’t see embracing of the wicked, because they need the Lord – just like the rest of us. I don’t see or hear an invitation for the wicked to join with the righteous. I don’t see the author saying “we’re all just a bunch of sinners” making himself equal with the wicked. I just don’t see it.

    What I do see is this. Verse 20: “Shall the throne of iniquity have fellowship with Thee?” (KJV) I see the expectation that God is going to judge and deal with the wicked, cutting them off – not bringing them in.

    We need to get this area right. The righteous of God needs to stop trying to make peace with the wicked. Abused women/men need to stop being told to return and abide with wickedness and learn to love it.

    • Brenda R

      In addition to my post above, last night “someone” broke down the sign for my handicapped parking spot outside my apartment building. It has my apartment number on it and no one else’s had been touched. Fear is setting back in. I don’t want to leave my apartment and surely do not want to come to work being alone many days. I thought this was over, but more assuredly, is not.

      • healingInHim

        Brenda R. – You have every reason to fear. You must let your boss know what has happened. You shouldn’t be alone. Take a photo of the incident. You could contact the police so they can start a file. Praying for you.

      • Brenda R

        HealingInHim,
        I work in an office of 2, me and the boss. He often works out of the office and last week was on vacation. There is really no choice. I do keep the door locked when he is not here.

        I called the apartment office and they are going to take care of the post and they will take pictures. I don’t like being afraid, but want to run. Fear is the opportunity to exercise courage. I am losing my resolve right now.
        Brenda

      • healingInHim

        Continuing to pray for protection over you, Brenda. I’ve had similar feelings of fear concerning my personal circumstances. God allows a healthy fear in order for us to be “on guard”.

      • I agree that it would be a good idea for do everything healinginHim recommends.

      • 7stelle

        Brenda,
        Take a photo of the sign. Don’t touch it. Go to the police station, file a report of both incidences (bag left in middle of night and broken sign) and bring copies of the awful texts/emails he was sending and/or describe the phone calls. Ask if they can dust the sign for prints. Or if a car was used knock it down see if there is any paint on it and whether it matches his car. Ask them if they can make some drive-byes of your apartment in the coming days and weeks. Yes! to the restraining order. Keep the door locked at work. If someone has to wait while you check first and unlock so be it! Put 911 or the full police station phone number on speed dial. Is pepper spray legal by you? If so, go to a firearms store and ask the highest strength—like the police use. I use decorative shelve paper that has the sticky back on it and wrap it around the pepper spray can–looks like a bottle of air freshener that way. I’ve put it in my laundry basket when I’ve had to go to laundry mats–people think it’s laundry stain remover. Tell the management you need a security camera placed by your apartment. If the say no, find out who the management company for the complex is and tell them directly. They don’t want any possible bad reviews of their properties.

      • 7stelle

        I forgot there are also flashlights that have strobbing capabilities for disorienting an attacker; some even have an additional shrieking alarm on them.

      • Brenda R

        7stelle,
        That sounds like an interesting shopping trip. Pepper spray is legal where I am and the flashlight sounds interesting. I have to wonder if that would work for long enough to get away. Also would you have to keep it shining on them for it to do its job. The pepper spray is going to keep a person immobile for at least a few minutes or that’s my theory anyways.

      • 7stelle

        The flashlight is intense light that temporarily blinds and the strobe disorients; you want to have both. The strobe also disables peripheral vision.

        Yes, the pepper spray will make them miserably uncomfortable; go right for the face. Hold your breath so you don’t breath any of it in and try not to walk into the majority of the cloud of particles that are in the air.

        As with any self-defense weapon it’s very important to makeup your mind *ahead of time* that you will use them. Envision yourself using them *without hesitation*. Practice just handling them.

      • Brenda R

        7stelle,
        I would have no problem using them!! My issue is with tremors in my hands which would I be able to use more effectively without getting hurt myself. I plan to go to a local store where I have had good luck with their knowledge and guidance in years past. I owned a handgun in my younger years, but wouldn’t consider it now.
        Thank you for all your help. Brenda

  13. Brenda R

    HIM & Barb,
    I am on high alert. It was recommended that I journal any incident even if I cannot prove how it happened or by whom. This could establish a pattern. I still have to go to work, but am changing up my routine. My boss doesn’t care when I work as long as I do 40 hours. Yesterday, I was here at 5:45, today 7:00.

    I have Michael W. Smith “Healing Rain” on repeat in my car. It is so comforting to hear the words, “lift your hands, they can be held….by the Great I AM”.

    If I could leave the area right now, I would go. It is unlikely that I could get another job at my age and with the health issues that would support me. If God opens that door, I would take it. I have a first date on Saturday, Independence Day. It was pointed out by a friend how symbolic that is. Right now I am holding on to anything that is remotely reassuring. I have to give 2 thumbs up for the pastor who has not been overly supportive in the past. When I wrote to him yesterday and poured my heart out, he suggested that I might need a restraining order. Maybe he is finally getting it!!
    Brenda

    Thank you for your prayers!!

    • healingInHim

      Brenda – It’s great that you can change up your work schedule. Praying that your pastor is really “getting it” and maybe become more involved as to suggestions about a possible move? Your present boss sounds wonderful but your safety comes first. As I’m writing this the thought just came that even if you moved there is still a chance that your xh would find you and continue to torment you? He sounds very persistent and with a restraining order in place he sounds like the kind that would have someone else come and leave the parcels at your doorstep.

      • Brenda R

        HIM, In a few years, when I can retire, the plan is for me to move to where my daughter and SIL live. They have said there is a room waiting with my name on it and I know to give space to them. My gut instinct is that xh would walk all over a restraining order as he knows no boundaries or respect for my wishes and stop at nothing to find me and it could even provoke him to do so. Sending someone to do his dirty work is quite possible. I am quite surprised that he doesn’t seem to have found a way to get my new phone number and has not called my work. I am also sure that he knows that if he uses those avenues, they can be tracked.

        There are different kinds of safety that I have to consider. XH could take my life quickly if he took a mind to and I would be in the presence of my Lord. Good trade off in my mind. Not having insurance to pay for the many medications that I need could take my life slowly and take away my mobility, sight etc. I will continue on whatever path the Lord leads and pray to that end. Right now I can go from fear in the valley to praising on the mountain top a couple of times a day. In God’s strength I know that I can be on that mountain top more frequently.

        The jury is still out on the pastor. Time will tell. At this point, I am praying about changing up churches as well as work schedules. I alter worship service times already, but maybe it would be safer for everyone if I changed up churches for a while. I appreciate your thought in this and am always up for suggestions and prayers.
        Brenda

  14. Round*Two

    Brenda,
    I am so sorry you are having to deal with your xh! Praying for your situation!
    Also, is there anyway you can apply for financial assistance for your medications ? I don’t know where you live, but in the U.S. we have Prescription cards, I believe, you can pick one up at a clinic, or some gov’t agencies display them, and you can use it at your pharmacy. I only found this out about a week ago! I got 75% off my prescriptions. It was quite a saving, and, this card is in the computer, so when I have to get a prescription I still will get 75% off!

  15. Brenda R

    R2,
    I have good insurance. I’m in the U.S. Without insurance, I would have big issues. (private info edited) So I will sit tight. It’s been quiet since Tuesday morning. It’s only 2 days, but it was 2 days of peace.

    The police won’t do anything because the apartment complex is considered private property. They do periodically go through making their rounds, which I didn’t know until this week. The office took pictures of the sign and put them in their file. If he were to try to break in to my apartment, the police would come, but other wise it is really up to management. He’s not done anything like that. Early on, during separation, he would be watching where he knew I would be alone and I would be trapped. That is why the change up in schedules. Management know he is a problem, but he hasn’t done any destruction to the building. They do watch out for his vehicle though. Someone is usually looking out the window of the office and sees the coming and going until 9 PM.

    • healingInHim

      Brenda – It sounds like you have done everything ‘humanly’ possible to stay safe. Good to hear that the apartment management is aware of your circumstances.
      Continuing in prayer for you and others in very similar circumstances.

      • Brenda R

        HIM,
        The only thing left that I can think of is a Doberman and I can’t have dogs where I live. So, sad!! Prayer is the top priority and works better than everything else.
        Brenda

      • healingInHim

        Brenda – Amen to prayer …

    • Brenda,
      “Early on, during separation, he would be watching where he knew I would be alone and I would be trapped.” Yes, I know that all too well. My ex would ‘just happen’ to show up in a place or two where he knew I would be, and he seems to be happening once again, but I have decided to move away and that will be happening soon!
      And, I am glad the police are patrolling the area! Stay safe and thinking and praying for you!

      • Brenda R

        R2,
        Please be safe and I hope that you are able to get away quietly and start a better life than you have had so far. Keep your eyes on Christ and he will guide your path. No matter where you go keep us posted about your progress. So far x hasn’t made himself visible anywhere, I’m praying it stays that way. I am going on the first date that I have been on in many years this Saturday. I’m moving on while staying in place. X needs to do the same.
        My prayers go with you on your journey.
        Brenda

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: