A Cry For Justice

Awakening the Evangelical Church to Domestic Violence and Abuse in its Midst

Thursday Thought — Suffering for Christ

A gem from our GEMS page. . .

The hardship that comes with leaving the abuser is what “suffering for Christ” is, rather than staying and “suffering for evil.   (by Surviving Freedom)

8 Comments

  1. Amy

    This is what I’ve always said — suffering often happens when we take a stand against evil.

    It’s often thought that suffering is about just staying and taking abuse, and that somehow that is honoring to God, but it’s when we suffer for righteous sake He will bless us.
    When an abuse victim says no more to abuse is often when she/he will suffer greatly. The abuser will up their tactics making life worse, church family may turn away from them for not staying in the marriage, and sometimes the victim may even lose their children to the abuser’s lies.

    I Peter 3:13-17

    • healinginhim

      This is indeed a “gem”…
      I want so badly to move on and out. It just doesn’t seem to be happening and I can tell I’m entering a stage of ‘burnout’ as I attempt to prepare for the future. I am physically and emotionally so exhausted.

      • Amy

        Praying for strength for you HealinginHim. It is so hard to move on when that ‘burnout’ sets in. It feels as if you cannot move in any direction, everything feels like such a struggle both physically and mentally.

  2. Herjourney

    Not easy!!
    Yes!
    God will bless the one who stands for truth.
    Loosing family is the most difficult aspect of disengaging.
    Once I let go.
    I have seen God work in amazing ways.

  3. Greater Glory

    The untwisting of honoring the wrong type of suffering was so key to emotional release for me in my process of getting out. Grateful.

  4. Daisy

    This is a little off topic, but in light of the recent articles about Naghmeh Abedini’s situation, where she claims she was abused by her husband, a lot of Christian blogs have been covering that story. Some of us (including me) on other blogs have given links to this blog as an outstanding resource for anyone who may be in an abusive marriage, just to give the blog moderators a heads up.

    Good grief. While some people are wonderfully supportive of Naghmeh Abedin (she is married to Saeed) and abused spouses in general, I am seeing a lot of ignorance or victim-doubting, victim-blaming even by self professing Christians in regards to this story.

    A lot of folks I’m seeing are making the usual comments such as, “there are two sides to the story, I need to hear the husband’s side too,” or, “something about her story doesn’t add up, so I can’t totally trust her yet, or not at this time,” or, “she should not be sharing her personal marriage stories among friends / on social media, that is wrong, it should all be kept private”

    A guy on some blog I was just at (screen name Martin Luther Disciple) kept asking me if I have daughters – why that would be pertinent, I do not know. I gave MLD a link to this blog and asked him to lurk here, look at some of your resources, and he curtly cut me off and said “no.”

    He also kept asking if Naghmeh Abedini was abused (or if any Christian woman is abused) why not call the police at the first punch?

    (He seemed to imply that if a woman does not call the police after the first punch that she must be lying about having been abused, but he denied he meant this in a follow up reply.)

    I did my best to educate the guy based on what I know about how domestic violence works and how many abuse victims typically react, but this dude is convinced all you need to do is raise your Christian daughters to call the police at the first punch. I explained to him as best I could why this approach would not work in a lot of cases.

    All this guy could keep doing is asking me if I have daughters – as though that is relevant some how? I was financially abused and a bit emotionally abused by my ex fiancee; I have lived abuse first hand.

    Whether I have daughters or not is irrelevant: I am a woman who was abused myself, and I’ve read many testimonies of women who were abused in their marriages much more severely than I was by my ex fiance. I’ve read many resources on the topic of marital abuse (and other types of relationship abuse).

    I am just really wanting to puke right now at the avalanche of ignorance I’m seeing from Christians, and how some are unwilling to be educated on the topic, by even refusing to visit this blog after I’ve given them the link!

    One abused lady did thank me for the link here, so she may lurk here or start posting.

    • Yes, I’ve been aware of Naghmeh’s situation. And I’ve posted a couple of links to our blog on her FB page. The comments I saw written by others on her FB page (and I only scanned some of the many comments) well you can imagine: they range from very supportive … other survivors pouring out their own stories of abuse … others doubting or disbelieving . … mutualising .. giving poor advice …

      I also posted on the ACFJ Facebook page a link to one of her FB posts.

  5. Young wife

    This is so, so true. I recently wrote to my church elders that divorce is not easy. It’s easier to stay and just let myself die, rather than to face the constant questioning/criticism/judgment. It’s easier to keep quiet than speak out and be shot down for it. It’s a dark, lonely path, and I grieve over the death of my marriage. But it’s far better than lurking around the graveyard, wishing for the resurrection of something that never existed in the first place.

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