We were wrong to pass on links to a free PDF of Lundy Bancroft’s book
Recently we ran a post that had links to a free PDF of Lundy Bancroft’s book Why Does He Do That?
We have now realized that we were unethical to publish those links, because we hadn’t first checked with Lundy to verify that he had authorised the PDF being uploaded to the Internet. We’ve been in touch with Lundy and he’s told us that he did not authorize the free PDF. We have apologised to him and he has been extremely gracious. We asked him what he would like us to do to rectify matters and he simply asked us to remove our post. So we have removed that post and its corresponding post on our FB page. Lundy says his publisher will work on blocking the links so that the PDF is no longer freely available.
Jeff and I want to make it clear that TWBTC was not responsible for the mistake: she ran the idea of the post past us and we both approved. Why? All I can say is that we were asleep at the wheel, ethically speaking.
We are most grateful for Lundy’s gracious response to our error. And we would like to encourage our readers to purchase his book. It is published by Berkley (an imprint of Penguin USA). Here is the book at Penguin; from there you can select which retailer you might want to purchase it through.
Praise for Why Does He DO That? — by our reader StandingFirm
The Lord used this book three years ago to bring me out of the fog. I stopped at a bookstore one day and was walking down an aisle and the cover on the book just kind of jumped out at me. I purchased the book not really knowing much about it.
As I started reading with highlighter in hand, the anxiety started welling up in me. The pit of my stomach was as tight as a knot and my shoulders tensed terribly. As I was reading, my mind was blown away that all the behaviors had names and Lundy clearly explained why the abuser uses these tactics. I was astonished. Back in the late 90’s my female Christian counselor (who worked with me and the abuser) had told me that the husband was mentally and emotionally abusing me. I did not know the dynamics (nor did she) only that she said our marriage was like a roller coaster. Up then down.
As I kept reading Lundy’s book I would have thought that this author was with me all through the marriage and witnessed all that hurt me to the core. I was in complete awe that another person could describe the hurtful behavior with pin point accuracy.
I have re-read Lundy’s book about five times (and still use it for reference). The more I read the book the less and less the pain in my stomach and shoulders. I felt empowered for the first time being able to understand all the behavior that made no sense to me at all. The saying “knowledge is power” is so true.
After digesting the book many times I was able to emotionally disconnect myself from the abuser. I now know him for exactly what he is, and for the very first time in three decades I can keep out of his mind twisting traps and out maneuver him.
At Lundy’s website you can see all his books, including his companion book, Daily Wisdom for Why Does He Do That: Encouragement for Women Involved with Angry and Controlling Men.