Thursday Thought — “Moving On After An Abusive Relationship”
The principles of effectively moving on after a toxic relationship are actually quite simple, but not easy. Folks have to remember to focus all their time and energy on things over which they have power, most especially, their own choices and actions. Ruminating about the past, trying to get others to understand, worrying about whether their former partner will “keep getting away with” their manipulative behavior, etc. is simply a prescription for emotional disaster. And as hard as it may be to do, simply directing one’s thoughts away from these things over which one has no power and toward the actions one has the power to take is the secret to ending the emotional nightmare for good. So, here’s the rule for moving on and bringing joy back into your life: don’t direct any energy toward things you can’t control anyway; focus instead on actions only you have the power to take. But redirecting negative and self-defeating thoughts is not easy and requires reinforcement. That’s why the single most important thing to remember is to give oneself an internal pat-on-the-back for re-directing such thoughts and for taking action. It’s really as simple as that. But it’s definitely not easy and requires not only constant practice but faithful self-recognition, reinforcement, and encouragement.
[Excerpt from George Simon’s post, Moving On After An Abusive Relationship, which can be found at his website Manipulative-People.com ]