Thursday Thought — Where to Get Help When Everyone Sides with Him
Sometimes it just becomes too painful to keep trying to get the people around you to see the truth. When people are impressed with your partner and convinced that he’s a great person, your efforts to get them to see won’t always work. They don’t want to believe they idolized a false icon, so it’s easier to blame the victim.
So sometimes you’re better off letting go of trying to open their eyes. Instead, look elsewhere for support, validation, and safety. Some places you might turn to include:
- Friends and relative who don’t live close by, so they haven’t been swayed by your community’s mythology about your partner
- Websites for women who have faced abuse by influential abusers … or where you could seek out women whose experiences are similar to yours …
- A hotline or support group for abused women …
A day will come when you can get yourself into circumstances where people validate and support you. You will be able to surround yourself with friends who don’t know the man who abused you and haven’t been indoctrinated by his allies. I recognize what a painful journey it can be to get there, but you will make it. He will not succeed in controlling you forever.
[Entry from Lundy Bancroft’s Daily Wisdom for Why Does He Do That? * p242]
***IMPORTANT NOTE: While we endorse Lundy’s writings about the dynamics of domestic abuse, we do not recommend anyone attend the ‘healing retreats’ Lundy Bancroft offers or become involved in his ‘Peak Living Network.’ See our post, ACFJ Does Not Recommend Lundy Bancroft’s Retreats or His New Peak Living Network for more about our concerns.