A Cry For Justice

Awakening the Evangelical Church to Domestic Violence and Abuse in its Midst

Prayer Requests

We at A Cry For Justice desire to come along side those of you who have been wounded by abuse. We strive to do this through our teachings and through praying for the victims that we are aware of. If you wish to remain anonymous, please feel free to do so.  Leave prayer requests in the comments section below.  If you would like to read previous years’ requests and comments click on one of the links below.

Prayer Requests 2016

Prayer Requests 2015

Prayer Requests 2014 

Prayer Requests 2013

Prayer Requests 2012

Some of ACFJ survivors have told us how God lead them to freedom from their abusive marriages.  We have compiled those testimonies here.  May you be encouraged!

Testimonies

37 Comments

  1. Hey, I like your screen name, Not really Scared anymore!!

  2. So glad for you, NRSA!

  3. Concerned Mother

    She called crying; he keeps getting in her face, saying she’s not normal and that she is a bad kid, which she never has been. He took her phone away so no way to contact me. … So much more is happening…Things are escalating badly. All I can do is pray and pray.

  4. Kari

    Please pray for me and my family. We have 12 children in 13 years, ranging in age from 4-17.

  5. hurting&scared

    Is it abuse if your husband constantly questions everything and acts like you are constantly cheating although you have never ever done anything to make him think you are cheating? And then acting like you are evil for being tired of it? Because it is pushing me to the edge. I cant handle it. I FEEL like I cheated.

    • Jeff Crippen

      Absolutely it is abuse. It is accusation, false guilting, shaming crazy making and more.

  6. A lost soul

    Please pray for me. My husband has been controlling since the beginning of our marriage. The first year I couldn’t do anything right: sex wasn’t “fun” or often enough (we were intimate at least every other day), I couldn’t do housework right, I couldn’t speak up right, I couldn’t pray right (got chewed out for not praying about the right things). He worked at a long distance location, still tried to control me through phone contact, and when he got back, things were OK.

    Then I developed an auto-immune disease and I was told either I get on antidepressants or I would have to leave. I was so sick and scared: said he would call the cops on me if I ever took one of the two cars he had. I finally got appropriate meds for the disease and snuck out one day while he was at work. He begged me to come back. I felt bad so I did; he took the car away from me. I then had to go to hospital… he released his full blown anger at me when I’m lying in the hospital bed. Told me everything was my fault, told me he would call the cops on me the next time and take me to court. But then the next day he apologized.

    After a few months things go back to worse again. He says if I don’t do X Y & Z sexually I don’t love him, and wives should do things 10 times before they can so no. Told me if I left again he’d throw me in jail. So I left again and stayed away for [a while]. He got the picture and “changed”. I didn’t want to go back but did, as he sounded changed.

    For [a while] things went well. But me dealing with extreme fatigue made sex hard (low libido, low energy). Now, he has a horrible friend influence him 😦 My husband is now [doing illegal things financially] and doesn’t understand why I’m not proud of him for making money to support us more??

    He got so mad recently… and threw something at me. I couldn’t believe it 😦 When I said never again, he said it was my fault he got so mad and throwing thing was not a big deal. I don’t know what to do. The criminal activity is what is really scaring me… He is also saying derogatory things to me during sex, asking me to say dirty things all the time, etc….Please pray for me!

    • Hi, A Lost Soul, welcome to the blog 🙂 and thank you very much for sharing your story and your prayer request.

      I edited your comment a fair bit, to airbrush or remove details in it that might have identified you to your husband if he happened to read this blog.

      We often airbrush identifying details out of comments, especially from new readers — so please don’t think I am ‘telling you off’. I only did it to help protect you and keep you safe. 🙂

      I encourage you to check out our New Users Info page as it gives tips for how to guard your safety while commenting on the blog.

      Your husband is most certainly abusing you.
      It is not your fault. You are not to blame.

      He tries to lay the blame on you. He criticises you for numerous things. But his criticisms of you are NOT valid. He is criticizing you because he wants to maintain control over you and use you as his servant and sex-slave. And what’s more, he actually ENJOYS exercising this ungodly power over you because his whole mentality is driven by his inflated belief in his own entitlement.

      Let me say it again: It is not your fault; you are not to blame.

      I hope you keep following this blog and interacting here with other readers.
      We will support you. We believe you.

      This page gives you instructions about how to ‘follow’ the blog and thus receive emails notifying you of new posts.

      I urge you to check out our resources for Cyber-Safety and Social Networking, as it is possible that your husband might want to monitor your internet activity and there are things you can do to hide your tracks from him in the digital world/cyberspace.

      Your husband will try in endless ways to make you feel guilty. But in all his tactics he is motivated by this: he is trying to get you under his control again.

      The guilt is his. He is the one who is behaving badly. He is the one who is being cruel, manipulative, arrogant, selfish, etc., — and his goal is to intimidate you and keep you ‘under’.

      You may find this post of ours helpful: Defining domestic abuse by a list of behaviors is never going to capture it

  7. Hepzibah

    Thank you for this post, for once I have come across a blog that acknowledges the plight of victims of abuse.

    I have been married for about a decade but have known my husband for nearly two decades My husband is controlling and abusive both physically and verbally. He calls me names whether in front of the children or other people. He even goes to an extent of gossiping me with other people outside my home. He does not perform his fatherly duties i.e paying education fees for the children. He drinks himself to a stupor and blacks out as soon as he arrives home. He rarely spares time for the family as he is rarely at home. He does not call my parents nor visit them and has rallied his siblings against me.

    I have endured pain and suffering living with this man; he is the type who would make my life a living hell if we were to divorce, I am thus left to his endless abusive ways, there is absolutely no love between us; only hate from both ends. However, when I think of the long term effect on my children I cry a lot and am afraid his behavior is going to affect my children. I feel rejected and deeply wounded and this is obstructing my desire for salvation and the love of God as I am constantly battling anger and bitterness.

    Today he called me a stupid and useless woman and that the children I have are not his and he says this while shouting so that everyone in the house can hear him. When he drinks he can even urinate in the sitting room.

    He fights me the way he could fight a fellow man, I have been beaten severally and called names, I feel so much anger inside, I wonder why I got married to him in the first place. My own parents wish they had stopped the marriage.

    My prayer is that God takes over this cup and permanently disconnects me from this man; I no longer have the strength and the ability to go on.

    • Dear sister, I changed your screen name to Hepzibah, which means “my delight is in her” in Hebrew. I changed the screen name for your safety, in case the name you’d given was your real name.

      We believe you. Your husband is definitely an abuser. You are not to blame. Despite all his attempts to make it seem like it’s your fault — all his slandering and criticism of you — the way he behaves is not your fault. It is his CHOICE to behave that way. And he is showing typical behaviour for a domestic abuser.

      We encourage you to seek support from your local women’s centre or domestic abuse support service. We also encourage you to check out our HOTLINES page, and our SAFETY PLANNING page.

      We will support you whether you stay with him or whether you leave him, but we encourage you to reconsider the option of leaving him. Of course he will fight you every inch of the way, but with support you may decide you can run the gauntlet.

      Kids are affected by living in a home where their dad is abusing their mother (see this link). The danger is that the kids may start to copy his abusive behaviours and attitudes, or they may learn from your example that the way to respond to abuse is to stay and suffer, which can make them easy targets for abusers in their adult life. And they are likely to be be very confused and stressed by the atmosphere of fear and lies and intimidation.

      But we know it’s not easy. So we encourage you to take things step by step, as you feel able. We invite you to follow our blog and to read our New Users Info page as it gives tips for keeping yourself safe while commenting here.

      Bless you… and ((((hugs)))

  8. Shaken and stirred

    I need prayer and don`t even know what to ask for. Maybe the guts to say “whoa!” I have aligned with something very wrong here, and it is producing stuff in my life I don`t even agree with, stuff that is actually opposed to God and to truth. And the resources to get out.

    [Details of financial worry redacted, to protect commenter from being identified].

    I am not interested in hurting anyone, I just am sick of daily draughts of poison and dishonesty. I pray I am not making a mistake and being so affected by my past of abuse that I think he is the problem and it’s actually me. That’s something I’ve wondered, if […] I am doing things I cannot see or seeing things in him that have to do with past abusers. But in my factual moments, I would have to say that he has been a verbally and emotionally abusive bully and game player right from the beginning and even his first wife’s counsellor said he was a bully. Seems sad but true. Recently I was on the receiving end of yet more verbal abuse and bullying. I still feel crushed and shaken and angry. Obviously my attachment and alignment to my N dad has led me to try and rescue men like him who in turn abuse and take advantage of me. This is not good.

    We’d had a conversation where I thought I was making some headway in getting him to see where we are really living from and what’s going on in our marriage. I was vulnerable and honest about my own issues and failings, taking blame where appropriate and sharing the amount of anguish I have been in and where I think some of the roots of things are for both of us. I talked openly about the shame I saw in both of our lives and our need to do something to change it. Gave specific evidences about where and when I had observed things in both of us. So far so good. Insofar as he seemed to nod agreement and make somewhat accepting statements. Then later he starts an argument over the meaning of a certain word in scripture. He began yelling at me, and the whole thing goes down hill from there.

    [further details of argument redacted. After lots of cruel accusations from him, and him evading and deflecting and changing the subject] I wouldn’t talk to him and stayed away from him the rest of the day. He tried to re engage me on the scripture thing again today. Not talk to me about his abusive behaviour… I just got up and left the room. So prayer would be much appreciated because I think I am going to need a miracle to get the courage to see whatever it is I have been concealing from myself. I’ve changed my usual posting name to reflect the state of mind I’m in.

    • I doubt you are concealing anything from yourself, unless perhaps you might be shrinking from the reality that he IS an abuser and you are NOT to blame. No matter how much you might have been messed up by your dad, it does not mean you are responsible for the way your husband is mistreating you. And your husband is using the typical tactics of verbal abusers.

      I would encourage you not to try to look for more ‘shame’ or ‘fault’ in yourself, and I would encourage not to try to teach your husband what his problems are or to try to get him to see his own ‘shame’. Actually, the issue with him is not that he feels shame, but that he has NO shame for how wickedly he treats you. And you won’t be able to get him to see or admit that.

      I encourage you to simply focus on what you want or need to do to disentangle your life from this man.

      I shall pray for the resolution of the financial matter. But remember, God does not always wave a magic wand to disempower the abuser and make him surrender so we can walk away easily. I shall pray for God to give you courage. Backbone. Determination. Clarity of mind, so that you don’t keep reverting to trying to find what is the problem with you. You are not to blame. He is choosing to be a verbal and emotional bully. You can’t stop him or educate him. All you can do is work out how you can escape from him.

  9. Shaken and stirred

    Thank you Barb, right now just some kindness is balm to my sore heart. And I appreciate your patience with my immature comings and goings; I cannot seem to pull it together. There are some days where I feel like I need to be enfolded and rocked and comforted and today is one of them. Glad for the furry individuals that share my life, little forms of innocence and goodness. Thank you for removing identifying details; I was so upset and focused on articulating accurately what I was feeling and thinking that I didn`t think beyond my screen name, about concealing other details. I`ll have to make sure I avoid ever doing a bank hold up, you never know, without supervision, I might write the stick up note on the back of a personal check 🙂 Yes, I agree with you. I need to get free and get some strength. And a good paying job that I love going to, as opposed to one that just adds to my stress and misery, would be a really good start. I am far too dependent a person and need work on changing that. Thank you again very much. ((( )))

  10. Seeing the Light

    I need to ask for prayer for my health. My situation with my anti-husband has always been heavy on my health, and I have long-term chronic health problems. Since the beginning of the year, however, it has been one thing after another, and now I am having serious problems with my hip and leg and I don’t feel like I can handle this. It is a mystery and if it turns out what I think, I really need physical therapy to work. My body does not react well to anything and injections and surgery would be extremely risky. This condition could also put me at higher risk of deep vein thrombosis. Please pray this will heal completely with no or minimal intervention. I just don’t think I can handle any more pressure.

    • I shall pray.

    • healinginhim

      Seeing the Light — Thank you for sharing your prayer request. Your needs are great; I shall pray. ((hugs)) Although my health doesn’t seem nearly as critical as yours I have often prayed and asked God as to just how much more ‘stress’ I could handle?

      • Seeing the Light

        Thank you, Healinginhim. I, too, ask how much more stress I can handle. My faith is so tried. I ask why God stays so far away. At least if He drew near… Instead it’s just pressure and health issue after health issue. Every little step I take to make something better backfires. It literally makes things worse when I try to do something right. I find myself wondering how I could even be His. Maybe I’m not.

      • Every little step I take to make something better backfires. It literally makes things worse when I try to do something right.

        I’m guessing (correct me if I’m wrong) that your phrase ‘when I try to do something right’ means ‘when you try to do something in accord with what most churches and most marriage-book authors advise wives to do.’

        The advice that churches and marriage-books give to wives does NOT work for cases of domestic abuse. That advice generally make the victim more exposed to more prolonged abuse. The advice eats away at the victim’s confidence. And even if she ‘sets boundaries’ the way those advisers often recommend, that only ends up exposing her soft parts to the abuser’s arrows and cluster bombs.

        And those books also generally advise trying to talk to your abuser calmly, at a time when he is not overtly being abusive, to try to explain to him your feelings and perceptions of the marriage. In our observation, that almost NEVER works, and it usually exposes the victim to more nastiness from the abuser. The abuser takes whatever his victim says and re-shapes it into bullets to fire back at her. So if that’s the kind of ‘right thing’ you’ve been trying to do, I’m not surprise you find it makes things worse. 😦

        Another thing to bear in mind is that as the victim sets firm em>unbending boundaries against the abuser, the abuser will ESCALATE and will also quite often expand his range of abusive tactics. This cannot be prevented — it’s what abusers do. But it can be anticipated and to a degree planned for, to reduce the risk you might face if and when you decide to leave.

        That’s why we often encourage victims to read our Safety Planning resources and to consider seeking refuge in a Women’s Shelter or Women’s Refuge (diff terminology for diff countries).

        Here is our Resources main page.
        Here is our Safety Planning page.
        And here is our Hotlines page, on which you will find your national phone number to ring which can put you in touch with your most appropriate women’s refuge and support service.

      • Seeing the Light

        Barbara – Thank you for your prayers and your encouragement. If this were a few years ago, you would be spot on in your guess. I used to read those kinds of books and get counsel from that kind of people in the church. I was generally considered the problem person since he was such a covert abuser. Any effort to communicate with him about conflicts backfired. Following anyone’s advice backfired. Then I would be accused of being proud and not following their counsel. I knew I was trying, so I had to assume I just couldn’t do anything right, or worse, that I’m just not saved because nothing worked the way it should. It did erode my confidence. (I found ACFJ about three years ago and now I understand much about those years in the fog of my husband’s abuse. I am very grateful to ACFJ for speaking truth).

        Now, however, it’s all of life. This has broken my health and I’ve been given a diagnosis that no one understands, but is real, a very rare specialty-clinic-diagnosed thing. So now, even though I know the stress is making everything worse, there is no way to even know what the boundaries of my health are. I have almost no confidence in anything – my body, doctors, hospitals. Some days I am scared to move. I keep screwing things up. Because of my reactivity to things and the unknowns of my health, every smaller thing is huge. I had some testing a few years ago that should have been routine, but two different medical people did something they should not have done only days apart and have left me with ongoing problems. It was a weird fluke thing that even one did what they did, but both was even more incredible to medical professionals hearing the story. Why? My back was bad last year, and though I did not need surgery, I was advised to get physical therapy. It’s a long story, but the program I entered was not conventional, but was highly-recommended and praised, even by my orthopedist’s office. I was not reacting well to it and kept starting and stopping at a level I could handle. I thought I would start again at the beginning of the year and instead I injured myself again – on 1/1. Then a few weeks later, I thought I could do some good by at least stretching and I did something wrong again and now I have something wrong in my hip that is entrapping blood vessels and interfering with circulation. Now at the same time I am finding out the physical therapy program was a waste of money. I can’t explain for privacy reasons, but the program is not going to work for me. I can’t do anything right. I want to try because I know the stress is a huge player in how much my condition drains me and affects me, but I can’t even stretch correctly without setting off another whole problem with potentially dangerous effects.

        I am not physically strong enough to leave and fight for my kids right now, but everything I do to try to make one thing better only makes things worse. As soon as one issue starts to approach resolution, something else is already starting to take its place. I feel cursed. Leaving now, however, would be the same as just handing the children over to him. I don’t even feel like it’s just living with my anti-husband anymore. My heart, mind, and body are a mess. Only God can heal any of it. There’s no reason to think God would suddenly draw near to me then if He won’t now.

        I feel so abandoned by God and if I stay down and don’t fight to keep hope, things are bad, but if I even try to take some little hope in a Scripture verse or two, the battle ensues in my mind and heart to such a degree, I have to lie back down in near despair. Anything else draws attention to me and the spiritual battle is too intense. Fear surrounds me. I don’t understand what God wants. I wait for His word to come and it doesn’t come. I try to make some kind of strides towards preparing to leave, to build strength and a plan, and things backfire – more of the money I still have left in my name (he is financially abusing me and took all of our joint funds) is wasted and gets closer to running out and my health takes a hit in another area. Every attempt I make at doing something good or positive gets knocked down so that it seems I should not try at all. I read stories of God healing women’s hearts and even bodies, of leading them out of their captivity to freedom, and it’s been so long, and I’ve cried out so long, I’m overwhelmed with the horror of dying here. I don’t even know what thoughts to think each day anymore.

        I’m scared and lost and God remains distant.

      • Dear STL, thanks for explaining that. And it must have taken much effort to even write that comment, given your situation.

        All I can think of is the book of Job — the suffering he went through. And the events that transpired at the end for Job are not necessarily something that will happen to every believer who endures such un-merited suffering… though each and every believer will be given a resurrected body in the New Heavens and New Earth.

        This part of what you wrote:

        I feel so abandoned by God and if I stay down and don’t fight to keep hope, things are bad, but if I even try to take some little hope in a Scripture verse or two, the battle ensues in my mind and heart to such a degree, I have to lie back down in near despair. Anything else draws attention to me and the spiritual battle is too intense. Fear surrounds me. I don’t understand what God wants. I wait for His word to come and it doesn’t come.

        I have not experienced that exactly, but it brought to mind how I used to feel when I was going thru treatment for Hep C. The medication (a type of chemo therapy) gave me many horrible side effects. I often felt unable to pray or reach out to God. If I mentally tried to do that, the effort was too much, I was that weak, and immediately a sharp dagger of guilt would pierce me and I would fall into increased despair and exhaustion. The only thing that helped me was to remind myself that even when I can’t call out to or reach out to God, He promises to hold me and never let me go. Even if I can’t feel or sense it, even if I can’t see him, He is holding me and He will carry me to the end. It was the one filament, the one pinpoint of doctrine which I could hold in my mind which didn’t denude me of any of the faint energy I might still possess. It allowed me to simply give in to the exhaustion and disability, without feeling guilty for being so spiritually weak.

        I know that may not help you much or at all. Your situation is different in that your health problems have no logical end date, whereas my chemotherapy had an end date (it was 48 weeks of treatment). And I was not living with an abusive husband. And I only had one, healthy, late-teenage child under my care, so she could do a fair bit to take care of herself.

        I will pray for you.

      • Seeing the Light

        Barbara – Thank you for trying, for caring, and for praying.

  11. healinginhim

    Seeing The Light – The lies of the enemy would have you believe that you are not truly saved. I have never doubted God’s sovereignty in all He has allowed in my life. I know the enemy of our souls was hoping I would deny the existence of God because of the evil in my life.

    You discovering ACFJ blog is exactly how God finally led me. After doubting whether I was Scripturally right in what I was living I discovered this ministry. The untwisting of Scripture confirmed for me that unfortunately professing Christians especially within the church were the worst at helping the vulnerable.

    I’m not sure if you have many friends or any type of support system to help you? If not, I highly recommend that you keep connected to this ministry and if at all possible commence listening to Pastor Crippen’s sermons and others that ACFJ recommends.

    Reading and listening to those who follow the Scriptures by loving and nourishing the weakened body of Christ is what many of us need. AND thankfully, God has provided this ministry for that very cause.

    I apologize for my lengthy comment … It is an exhausting life with the battles you are facing and I and others would not want you to feel alone.
    ((hugs)) and prayers. ❤

    • Seeing the Light

      Healinginhim – Thank you for your encouragement and for praying. Thank you for caring and not wanting me to feel alone. I have been visiting ACFJ for about three years and it has been a support. I would say more, but perhaps you could just read the response above that I just made to Barbara. That explains in greater detail where I am. Thank you so much for being here.

  12. Anonymous

    I don’t want to be requesting too many prayers, or mistaken for some attention-getting drama queen, or whatever else…..but given what all has been done to me for so long, by so very many people, I really feel as though they (abusers) are going to win in that they’ll eventually succeed in inducing my suicide. Does anyone else feel this way? Does anyone else have seriously inescapable situations of continual abuse by a whole bunch of people, strangers even, all to ensure you eventually “hurry up and kill yourself already”?

    I read somewhere that to be regularly suicidal (or thinking about it, hoping and wanting to die) shows you are not a real Christian. I don’t know, because the Bible says that nobody can say Jesus Christ is LORD, except by the Holy Spirit. But I do really worry I’ll be finally induced and such will be my fate as things aren’t letting up, but rather just a continuation of abuse, different forms, but still abuse all the same. Since the viewpoints are so much different than what is taught in many churches, what do you think about the fate of one’s soul if they finally break? If nothing else, please pray that somehow things change for the better, or at least, God lets me die. If this is too whiny, unacceptable or whatever, please don’t post it. God Bless!

    • Jeff Crippen

      Anonymous – Actually the devil tried to get Jesus to kill himself in the wilderness temptation in several ways. Satan is a murderer from the beginning, the father of lies. Whenever he speaks, he lies and he is laying a pile of them on you, as he has me at one time or another. It simply is not true that things are not going to change for you or that you are not going to be able to go on. As long as we fix our eyes and faith on Christ, who is the Truth, we will not yield to Satan’s murderous lies.

    • Hi Anonymous, welcome to the blog 🙂 You said —

      I read somewhere that to be regularly suicidal (or thinking about it, hoping and wanting to die) shows you are not a real Christian.

      I think whoever wrote that is incorrect. They are not wise, and they have no scriptural grounds to say it at all! As Jeff Crippen said here, even Jesus had suicidal-type thoughts at one stage, when the Devil was tempting Him in the wilderness. And that was right after His baptism which was for Jesus the momentous beginning to his public ministry. The Devil hates it when a person is born again, and he tries his best to de-rail baby Christians. It sounds to me like the Devil is using lots and lots of wicked people to oppress and abuse you. But be assured, if Jesus is your Lord, you are a Christian!

      When a person is suffering immense pain and/or immense oppression & abuse, one of the ways she or he can respond to that is by having suicidal thoughts or wishes. It may seem (and the devil wants us to believe it) that there is no way out and the pain will never stop and the abuse will never cease.

      The temptation to kill oneself is just that — a temptation. As believers, we are exhorted to resist temptation. But it is not a sin to experience temptation. When we actually give in to temptation, or nurse the tempting thoughts by indulging in them, those things are sinful. I know it can be hard to resist temptation, especially if the habit of thought has become entrenched. But God understands our weaknesses and promises to help us resist temptation.

      For since He Himself was tempted in that which He has suffered, He is able to come to the aid of those who are tempted. Hebrews 2:18

      I had periods in my life where I was suicidal. I put myself in hospital once because I had actually started to enact my plan and put it into effect. I believe God walked my legs into the hospital gate, rather than me. I was that close to despair and so entrenched in pain (of my own making because I was bulimic, but it all stemmed from childhood sexual abuse) … the part of me that wanted to live was overwhelmed by the part that wanted to be dead. I now thank God that He took over when I couldn’t look after myself.

      Some years after that hospitalisation, I realised I had to confess as sin and renounce forever the escape-route I had habitually used in my mind when the pain got too bad. That escape route was like a mental track, deeply engraved by habitual practice in my mind. When I went into that track, I would wish I was dead and have fantasies of killing myself. In some ways that track was a little hideyhole from the pain. While I was in the hideyhole, the pain was lessened, kind of anaesthetised.

      When I realised that was a sinful habit and I had to confess and renounce it, it took a giant spiritual effort to do so. But the effort only lasted a few seconds. I spoke out loud my confession, and my vow. Once I’d renounced that sin and vowed to never do it again, I was much more free.

      The devil had loved me keeping that little sinful mindtrack going, feeding it every now and again. It gave him ground in my life, ground which kept me from growing in Christ. After I renounced the sin, I was freer to grow in Christ.

      Now, I know your situation is different from mine, in that your pain is from the active and current abuse which OTHER people are doing to you. So you have less control over it. All I can do is invite you to keep coming to this blog, keep commenting here, and we will support you no matter what. You are not alone, most of the readers here are victims of abuse.

      (((hugs))) if you want them.

    • H

      Anonymous, I wish I saw your request earlier. I’m praying for you now. Job expressed wishes to die. If people don’t understand that, it’s probably because they aren’t walking in your shoes and don’t know just how much pain you have experienced. However I believe that God calls you to rest your pain in him and get strength from him to endure. I’m really praying that your circumstances change quickly so that you can feel some relief. The Psalmists also express deep pain and feelings of deadness. I think of Psalm 31 has been a particular comfort to me when I feel like I’m pressed on all sides and don’t know how much longer I can endure.

      • Anon.

        Thank you for your prayers and your post. Yesterday and this week and this month has been more of the same. But thankfully we have this site and I have the prayers of supporters such as yourself. I am at a loss, though. There’s a lot of power, money, authority, etc. on the side of the predators, aggressors, and abusers. It’s in their criminal best interests to ensure my silence and if not secrecy, in shutting me up, then it becomes a matter of making me look as crazy, unstable, vindictive, abusive, dishonest, manipulative, paranoid, delusional, blah, blah, blah…..as possible. Just because I know the formula, doesn’t mean it makes any of their continued criminal victimization of me, their stalking, harassing, abusiveness, gaslighting galore!!, etc. any less harmful. Rubbing salt in all my wounds on an hourly basis, ensuring such never stop hurting…..to the point of my being reduced to wanting to die pretty much all of the time and begging the good LORD to let me die already.

        Certain violations, victimizations, atrocious crimes are unspeakable and instead of any of them acknowledging such and letting me be, leaving me alone, they gloat on such, seek to further expand on such line of violation, further such sadism, and more. Andrew Vaugss, something like that, is an attorney and said after having heard of child molesters laugh about how they had transmitted AIDs or something like that to a newborn, an infant in raping the child, a person looks at evil differently. These people are that way. They’s see such as being funny, something to cheer about and celebrate and feel ‘victorious’ about having accomplished.

        Yes, please pray for my mind, my soul, my health, my sanity, and for me to be reassured that it is them, not me, and that I am indeed a human being and all. Worthy of existing. Not deserving of their abuse, violation, desecration, violence, sadism, and more. It is really sicko quality, sadistic, damaging, horrible stuff. And so very, very, VERY many of them, too! A whole massive crew of people all ganged up and collectively doing whatever they can, each individually, to ensure my continued demise, etc. Like a faucet that drips….soon enough you have a bucket of water. Their drips sometimes are blasts of water and sometimes just drip,drip,drip, but it doesn’t stop and when I begin to learn the faces, and whatnot, new people are changed out and used to stalk, harass, victimize me. I didn’t ever think such a horrendous existence was possible, but predators and monsters like to run in packs and those packs have affiliated packs of ‘toughs’ so that there’s an endless stream of them. And for those who wonder who has time for such, it is their delight in life, their sadistic lifestyle, what they do for fun, entertainment, etc. Like the evil, bloodthirsty person who cannot rest until he has preyed upon someone or harmed someone or wreaked havoc somewhere……that’s the people I face.

        I shall read Psalm 31 and thank you again, as with Barb and Ps Crippen, for the prayers and responses. May God richly bless you! Thank the LORD for this site!!!

  13. Seeing the Light

    I could use prayer for healing. I saw an osteopathic doctor yesterday for an ongoing health problem. I misunderstood or miscommunicated at the appointment, I guess. He was very rough on me physically doing his musculoskeletal treatment. I repeatedly asked him to tone it down. He did not. I am not doing well now and am having new symptoms. Please pray that God would heal me from the damage this man did today. I am also discouraged that I have messed up yet again and made things worse instead of better. Thank you.

  14. H

    I’d appreciate some prayer. I just returned from a meeting with my pastors and I feel like I’ve been in a battle and am shell-shocked and can hardly stand up. They agree with me that 1 Cor. 7 means that if an unbelieving spouse separates, then the believing spouse is free and can remarry. At first I thought, that’s great! Praise God who’s been working on their consciences and doing my battle for me! But then I learned that they don’t believe I qualify, as they can’t say with “100% certainty” that my abuser is not a Christian, and they don’t believe that he separated, but I did.

    I didn’t expect that at all considering all the testimony I’ve given to them. I am at a loss. They have no ears to hear why he is obviously not a Christian or why he clearly caused the separation. Apparently the only way they could be sure he was not a Christian is if he says the words, “I don’t believe in Jesus anymore” or something to that effect. Which of course, the wolf is unlikely to do, especially if he realizes that would free me. Or if HE was to commit adultery (and I find out about it), or divorce me and also remarry, then at that point I would be free. I can’t help but feel like the only way out of this is to go back to my abuser and let him kill me so they will know. But even then they would probably say he was a Christian. I don’t know.

    I know this is not a new story for the readers and ACFJ team. But boy it hurts when it finally happens to you in turn.

    • Jeff Crippen

      Those pastors are false oppressive shepherds who side with the man by default. They are wielding authority Christ has not given them. You need not obey them.

      But yes, betrayal does hurt.

    • H —- (((hugs))) for the shock you have received. Those men are taking a wooden intepretation of 1 Cor 7:15. And they have betrayed you and supported the wolf.

      I suggest you seriously consider leaving that church and shaking the dust off your feet, and divorcing your abuser which the Bible gives you liberty to do without incurring any sin. I honour you for taking the risky and difficult action of trying to seek that church’s approval of your divorce. That shows how brave you are, how persevering you are, how much you have striven to do things rightly by seeking counsel from the church leaders. But their counsel has proved to be Un-Bibical and don’t have the ability or the willingness to identify abuse and see through the manipulative tactics of the abuser (the tactics of your husband).

      If you haven’t yet read these posts, you might find them helpful:

      Abuse and Divorce: A Disagreement with the Westminster Confession of Faith

      Church discipline and church permission for divorce – how my mind has changed

      • H

        Thank you both. I am considering if God would have me further attempt to persuade them to correct their interpretations, or if this is the end. Thank you both for your support and your faithfulness to the Bible.

      • I am considering if God would have me further attempt to persuade them to correct their interpretations, or if this is the end.

        I suggest as part of your considerations, you might want to think about whether this verse has any application to your situation with those church leaders —

        Do not give what is holy to dogs, and do not throw your pearls before swine, or they will trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces. (Matthew 7:6)

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