A Cry For Justice

Awakening the Evangelical Church to Domestic Violence and Abuse in its Midst

Category Archives: Victims

For the Kingdom! – A survivor of domestic abuse tells her story

There was an unhealthy dynamic in our marriage. But generosity, forbearance and patience are not sins, while unkindness, unjust accusations, lies and selfishness are. This guest post is by our reader ‘Gaining Momentum’. Many thanks to her for writing it. This feels like it’s been a long time coming – writing down what I want …

Continue reading

“Marinated in trauma” – generational transmission of trauma. Diane Langberg & Phil Monroe

When a person’s life is marinated in trauma, that has profound effects on the individual. When a  connected group of people is systemically traumatized (such as the Jews in the holocaust) studies show this has negative effects down several generations. And what if a whole society is systemically traumatizing some of its members? The three …

Continue reading

Sleeping with the enemy… and being ‘one flesh’ with an abuser who sexually assaults children

“It’s like the abuser’s evil was shared with me and in a sense I became one with it.” The sexual intimacy a woman has with her husband means that they are ‘one flesh’ — whatever that phrase means.  Trigger warning. For me, the pollution of an abuser having sexual intercourse with me affected me to …

Continue reading

Gender & DV: the key facts

The problem of domestic/family intimate partner violence is largely a problem of violence by men against women and children.  Comparing men’s violence against female partners & ex-partners and women’s violence against male partners & ex-partners, men’s violence: Is far more common Has much worse impacts Is far less likely to be self-defence If we only …

Continue reading

I Let My Husband Rape Me, and Here’s Why… — by Amber Barnhill

I let him abuse me to keep him from abusing me. The problem with fundamentalist Christian culture isn’t that it doesn’t teach rape is wrong, but that it doesn’t know what rape actually is. Fundamentalist Christian culture taught me that if it wasn’t violent or you didn’t cry for help, that wasn’t rape, that was …

Continue reading

Victims of coercive control are vulnerable, but. . .

Victims of coercive control are vulnerable, but not because they are weak, character-deficient, or mentally unwell.  They are vulnerable because they have been groomed. The impact of the control on the victim is devastating. She exists in a constant state of fear that she has not moderated her behaviour sufficiently to avert catastrophe for herself …

Continue reading