A Cry For Justice

Awakening the Evangelical Church to Domestic Violence and Abuse in its Midst

Supporters of Victims of Domestic Abuse

As a pastor, what are the most important things for me to know about domestic abuse? 

ACFJ FAQ page with a list of related posts

Bursting the Bubble

For teenagers and young people who have been exposed to domestic abuse. [Note:  not a Christian site]

[Editors note: Bursting the Bubble is now What’s OK at Home – or WOAH. The website is http://woah.org.au ]

 

Catherine Kroeger’s talk at the inaugural conference of Restored Relationships

Catherine was an early activist and author addressing domestic abuse in the Evangelical church

Continuum of Care for Victims of Domestic Violence Tool

by Catherine DeLoach Lewis.  This 2-page PDF is a condensed tool for pastors and counselors who are dealing with domestic abuse cases.  It can be kept in one’s desk for ready access when printed and laminated as a double-sided resource.

Lewis created this version specific to her locality (i.e. phone numbers and agencies); however, she is willing to modify the information to reflect your specific contact information.  Simply contact her by email (address provided at the bottom of the PDF) with your request.

Converting Statements into Questions: A skill for bystanders who want to help victims of domestic abuse

by Barbara Roberts (this is a post from this blog)

Domestic Violence Disclosure Flow Chart

from “Practice Guidelines: A consultative document for Churches, circuits and districts when working within the issue of Domestic Abuse.

Honouring Women’s Resistance: How Women Resist Abuse in Intimate Relationships

An excellent 34 page PDF resource from Calgary Women’s Emergency Shelter. And their booklet Choosing to Change: A Handbook for Men concerned about their abusive behavior toward those they love – may be helpful for abusers who want to change.

How can I help my friend or relative who has been abused?

ACFJ FAQ page with a list of related posts and other resources

Is Someone you Know Being Abused in a Relationship?

This booklet can be downloaded in several different languages.

Ps. Jeff Crippen’s Open Letter from a Pastor to Pastors

Readers are freely granted permission to reproduce this letter and use it to good ends.  Please do not alter or change the wording.

“Power and Control” and “Accountability Wheels” for Male Aspiring Allies

by Ben Atherton-Zeman.  Ben, though not a Christian, believes that more work needs to be done to involve men to end men’s violence.   He has created a set of wheels to help men become more effective allies in the movement against battered women.

Respecting & Listening to Victims of Violence

An excellent handbook from Calgary Women’s Emergency Shelter.  Written mainly for people who want to be able to support victims of family violence, but also beneficial to victims.  It will give you ideas about talking with victims in respectful ways that will be helpful to women who are being abused by their partner.

Sin by Silence

Sin by Silence is a documentary that takes one into the lives of women who are domestic violence’s living, worst-case scenarios.  Some of these women have killed their abusers and are now trapped behind bars.  This documentary tells the story of Convicted Women Against Abuse (CWAA), an initiative led by the women of CWAA to help educate the legal system.  Through careful orchestration of letter writing campaigns, media coverage, and senate hearings a moment was born and laws for battered women were change.

Toxic Relationship Aftermath: Doubt, Mistrust and Paranoia?

by Dr George Simon Jr

 Truelove Homes 

Truelove Homes is a non-profit Christian ministry that educates, encourages, and empowers pregnant survivors of domestic violence as they seek sake and affordable homes, where truth and love will dwell.

Unhelpful Comments by Well-Meaning People – and how to respond to them

by Barbara Roberts. This will give you ideas of what not to say to victims!

Vicarious Traumatization

Useful for those who are feeling overwhelmed from hearing victims’ stories of abuse

What Men Can Do

Information about how men can respond to and prevent men’s violence against women.

Why Didn’t You Leave?

by Barbara Roberts.  Explains the many reasons why women stay. After reading this article, bystanders will be less likely to slight a victim for not leaving an abusive relationship.

2 Comments

  1. Anon

    I am divorced with children, but even though we do not live together he continues to abuse me through the internet.

    I am tangled in a web of emails that I can never open, phones that he uses though apps to change the settings, my contacts numbers, calendars and not to mention my private documents that he has somehow gotten into and deleted, sending them elsewhere. … I had years of professional material that I will never get back again. … He locked me out of my social media account, so I can not network like I was and was starting to succeed. Now, I am hidden and even though I went to the police, private investigators, family and friends they did not help. The police just mock me, tell me “it can’t be done.” My friends are tired of the same old scenario and say, “it’s time to move on.”

    I am not one to give up lightly, I feel I have been pushing and pushing, showing up, speaking out and no nothing. When I told my psychiatrist that “maybe its me.” “Maybe I am crazy!” She had met my ex (when he tried to back with me, I asked him to see her and I would). He fools a lot of people I just wanted a true diagnosis. She wouldn’t give that to me due to confidentiality but she did say off the record, reminding me that she would never go to court, speak on my behalf, nor put it in writing but for my own sanity she said, “He will never stop trying to hurt you and will go to great lengths to keep you down.” She was correct and with the children he has made it even harder causing chaos, drama and confusion.

    My head is spinning and I want this to stop, but no one truly knows how to help me do this.

    Even after all he has done I still feel sorry for him, the emptiness, the constant need to create chaos and the way he goes to great lengths to keep me in the dark by keeping emails, and documents from teachers, professionals and family. I am so tired.

    • Wow. He is very skilled at techno-stalking!

      I am not an expert in how to handle something like this, but it sounds to me like the only solution for you is to stop using your phone and other devices and get new ones, (new, or second hand from a reputable dealer who provides a guarantee on the goods) and set up entirely new accounts. New email address, new IDs on all social media, new apple ID and new Google ID and new passwords for them all. And never let the kids know your new passwords or take the devices to him if they have visitation with him.

      And beware of Facebook. Facebook is stalkbook. If you set up a new account at facebook, be very very cautious about telling your friends and family or letting them follow you or interact with you on facebook. Cyberstalkers can follow your facebook ‘friends’ and by watching what those friends share and like on facebook they can often get a picture of what you are doing in your life.

      At our Resources Page, we have a page about Cybersafety and Social Networking. There may be some items there that might interest you.

      And by the way, we like to encourage new readers to check out our New Users’ Info page as it gives tips for how to guard your safety while commenting on the blog.

      After reading the New Users’ Info page, you might like to look at our FAQ page.

      I changed your screen name to Anon, as a precaution for your safety.

      Welcome to the A Cry For Justice website! 🙂

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