A Cry For Justice

Awakening the Evangelical Church to Domestic Violence and Abuse in its Midst

Tag Archives: abuser’s allies

A Common Tactic of Abusers is to Try to Alienate the Victim’s Allies

“I understand that you are giving _______ counsel and I want to talk to you.” I have received that kind of message many times over the past few years. A message on our church answering machine. An email. A note. I never answer these messages because I know what they are about. They are attempts …

Continue reading

We must be done with Harlequin or Mills & Boon romance notions of love

I (Jeff) have never read a romance novel, but I have watched a few movies of that genre—the Jane Austen type I suppose. Austen’s novels are way better than the pulp romance novels because she exposes more than one wicked character: she depicts how people can get duped by the wicked, and how they can resist …

Continue reading

What is the best way to interact with an abuser when you have to? Shared parenting with an abuser.

This question came in from a reader: The court has ordered me and my ex to do shared parenting. And the judge is telling us that we are both at fault for our issues, that our arguments were concerning to her, and we should be ashamed of ourselves. What is the best way to interact with the …

Continue reading

Live by the Leading of the Spirit. Old Wineskins Cannot Accept New Wine.

Why do so many notable professing Christians consistently not listen to us as we try to explain how evil hides in the churches? We believe it is because their religion, their system of handling the Bible, is the product of dead letter hermeneutics (Bible interpretation). They are old wineskins and cannot accept new wine. We have set the Ecclesiastes …

Continue reading

Utter nonsense from Desiring God, designed to isolate women

How about this for a ludicrous quiz that will make many women and girls go into a tailspin of self-doubt and cause them to turn healthy friendships into superficial shallow friendships? What a brilliant way to keep women isolated! Desiring God’s article More Than BFFs: When Friendship Goes Too Far really takes the cake for ludicrous, micro-managing legalism. Here …

Continue reading

Neutrality is not neutral

With domestic abuse, it’s not okay for pastors to take a neutral stance vis a vis perpetrator and victim. The church ought to fully support victims while holding perpetrators accountable. Pastors: if you take the neutral stance, you effectively become an ally of the abuser.  It means you are taking the view that both parties are …

Continue reading