A Cry For Justice

Awakening the Evangelical Church to Domestic Violence and Abuse in its Midst

Tag Archives: boundaries

For the Kingdom! – A survivor of domestic abuse tells her story

There was an unhealthy dynamic in our marriage. But generosity, forbearance and patience are not sins, while unkindness, unjust accusations, lies and selfishness are. This guest post is by our reader ‘Gaining Momentum’. Many thanks to her for writing it. This feels like it’s been a long time coming – writing down what I want …

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The Explaining Trap

When having a conversation with an abuser, the abuser often tries to get you to fall into the explaining trap. It is a trap because no matter how much you explain things to the abuser, the abuser will pretend to not understand or not accept your explanations. And he will keep challenging and criticizing your …

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Don’t Get Sucked in by the “Hoovering” Vacuum of the Abuser

Abraham said to him, “See to it that you do not take my son back there. (Gen 24:6) A “Hoover” is a metaphor taken from the popular brand of vacuum cleaners, to describe how an abuse victim (trying to assert her own rights by leaving or limiting contact in a dysfunctional relationship), gets “sucked back …

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Count on it — Abusers Will Always Violate a Boundary

Abusers will ALWAYS chafe at boundaries. They may abide by those limits for a time, but only because they have no choice. And the first time they see some kind of opening that, in their thinking, justifies them crossing the line, off they go. Here is a narrative from the Old Testament which illustrates this. The …

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An open letter to a well-meaning but ill-advised Christian friend on the subject of my separation

I realize your message was sent in love and with the best of intentions. I’m so sorry you have suffered as well. But you need to understand a few things. Yes, I am changed. I am deeply traumatized. But only through this separation and fighting for myself (and not tip-toeing around a sinful man) have …

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What to Say When Setting Up Boundaries (a reblog from Give Her Wings)

Setting boundaries can be especially called for over the Christmas period when family gatherings and end-of-year parties are happening. Our friend Megan C shares some good suggestions for words to use when you want to state your boundaries. *** When you are learning of your intrinsic worth as a child of God, created in His image, here are some …

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