A Cry For Justice

Awakening the Evangelical Church to Domestic Violence and Abuse in its Midst

Tag Archives: Lundy Bancroft

She nags me! – what the abuser means when he says that

“She nags me” means she presses me to accept my responsibilities. If you ask an abuser to fulfil his responsibilities, you are not being controlling. You are not abusing the perpetrator when you ask him to accept his responsibilities. You are being a reasonable adult human being. You are simply calling on him to be …

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9. The will-o-the-wisp of hope for abusive men

Chris Moles doesn’t fully understand the story of King David Chris Moles uses the story of King David’s taking Bathsheba for his sexual gratification to illustrate what he calls the “four pillars of domestic abuse” (W*). The four pillars Chris sets out are: superiority – the abusers misuse their power because they believe in their own superiority objectification – …

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Thursday Thought — “Everyone Needs to Look at Their Part”

Our society is replete with philosophies that say that when something bad happens between two people, they have each played a part in why the injurious interaction occurred.  Many self-help books teach readers to assume that they have “co-created” any emotional wound that happens to them.  Therapists are fond of saying, “Let’s look at what …

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Thursday Thought — Why Did So Many People Side with Him?

On some days the following thoughts may rattle around inside your head:  “Okay, I can kind of see his friends backing him up, because they only hear his side of the story.  And some of them are kind of like him anyhow — that’s why they’re friends with him.  But why have people I trusted …

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Thursday Thought — Shifting Sands

Your partner has too many rules.  There are all kinds of things that have to be done just so, in the way he considers correct, or he’s going to have a fit. Everything has to be his way. And as if that weren’t stressful enough, the rules keep changing, so there’s no way to even …

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Thursday Thought — The Slow Build of Harm

I have heard the effects of living with an abusive partner compared to (get ready for this) a frog being boiled alive.  They say that if you threw a frog into hot water, it would jump back out immediately, alive and with only minor injuries.  If, on the other hand, you put the frog into …

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