The misdiagnosis is deadly. If a doctor diagnosed cancer as the common cold, he would likely be sued for malpractice. When counselors misdiagnose an abusive marriage as simply requiring a higher level of commitment by the abuse target…they generally seem to refuse to admit error and stand by their original misdiagnosis of “if only you would have…” (by Joe Pote)
The original cancer analogy can be found at this post: The relational cancer of abuse is not like the common cold. Joe’s comment can be found in the comment section of this post – here.
Binding the strong man
Esther is in the cockpit of the battle between the kingdom of darkness and the kingdom of Our Lord, and at this part of the story she is facing possibly the greatest part of the battle.
Hamaan, the antichrist figure, was hoist on his own petard. He has been trying to eradicate the Jews but he is caught in his own trap. Hamaan is a type of the great dragon in Revelation 12 waiting for the woman to give birth to the child when just as he was about to pounce, the child was spirited away.
Reversal of fortunes — poetic justice
Jesus’ being hung on the Cross spelled the embarrassment, the failure, the ridicule of all of His enemies:
He disarmed the rulers and authorities and put them to open shame, by triumphing over them in him. (Colossians 2:15 ESV)
In a prefigurement of this, Hamaan this antichrist figure is put to open shame. King Asheuerus has Hamaan hung on the guillotine which Hamaan had built to kill Mordecai. And the King gives Esther all the goods of the house of Hamaan. She was originally a nobody — an orphan taken as a sex-slave into the King’s hareem and sequestered from the world — and now she owns all of Hamaan’s wealth!
Esther tells the King what Mordecai was to her: how he had brought her up and earnestly cared for her even from a distance while she was in the hareem. This makes the king feel even more gratitude to Mordecai, so he exalts Mordecai to be his prime minister.
But the Jews were still in danger. The law of the Medes and Persians cannot be revoked, and the edict for the annihilation of the Jews still stands. Esther bravely takes another initiative: she falls at the King’s feet pleading for him to revoke the edict. She is under less tension because she herself is no longer in danger, so the dam bursts — she weeps. She intercedes with emotion… and the King reaches out the royal sceptre, giving her permission to speak. So she masters her emotions and use courtly language to beg for her people:
“If it please the king, and if I have found favor in his sight, and if the thing seems right before the king, and I am pleasing in his eyes, let an order be written to revoke the letters devised by Haman the Agagite, the son of Hammedatha, which he wrote to destroy the Jews who are in all the provinces of the king.”
And with all her diplomatic courtly language, her passion still comes through:
“For how can I bear to see the calamity that is coming to my people? Or how can I bear to see the destruction of my kindred?”
Her intercession is successful; reversal of fortunes now comes to all the Jews, the people of God.
Then King Ahasuerus said to Queen Esther and to Mordecai the Jew, “Behold, I have given Esther the house of Haman, and they have hanged him on the gallows, because he intended to lay hands on the Jews. But you may write as you please with regard to the Jews, in the name of the king, and seal it with the king’s ring, for an edict written in the name of the king and sealed with the king’s ring cannot be revoked.”
So Mordecai composes another law, a law that contradicts the law which Hamaan had written. This law empowers the Jews to gather and defend their lives against all their enemies. At each point Hamaan’s edict is undone by Mordecai’s edict.
It is a picture of how the law of sin and death is undone by Jesus the Messiah.
In the light of a king’s face there is life, and his favor is like the clouds that bring the spring rain. (Proverbs 16:15)
The church’s response to feminism has swung the pendulum too far the other way and it is LEADING TO ABUSE!
I have been a Christian woman for over 20 years…married to an unbeliever that had an abusive domineering earthly father. I thought my husband was a Christian when we married, only to find out later that I did not know him well at all. Fast-forward to a few years ago, my husband accepted Christ. At first, I saw a new creation before my eyes. This man was learning and growing in the Lord. I was amazed and our relationship was getting better.
We began attending a church of my husband’s choice (I was just so stinkin excited to see him go to church at all) that began teaching these “TrueWoman” type ways. John Piper and Nancy Lee Demoss seem to be the true leadership by way of our pastor jumping on to their points of view. My husband quickly started domineering in our home. He wanted submission from his wife and children. He wanted us to sit at his feet and learn from him. He wanted support and adoration from everyone. He wanted service and loyalty. Everything became HIS way. He knew BEST in EVERYTHING. He began to want more and more sex. He frequently criticized our sexual encounters. I wasn’t “into enough”. I didn’t seem like I adored him enough. I wasn’t loving him enough.
I sank into a deep depression. I began to see God differently than ever before. I felt like God was ONLY for my husband and not for me unless I was more obedient…more submissive…more adoring. I began to see myself as only a person in regards to my husband. Not an individual loved my Christ. I didn’t even feel like a human being anymore. Only a servant…and a terrible one at that. I don’t go to church anymore. I can’t pray. I don’t trust God. I struggle so hard to believe He loves me anymore. I don’t know what the future holds and I am scared for my salvation.
This message NEEDS to get out there. Something is happening in the church and I don’t think it is good. There has been such a HUGE counter response to feminism that the pendulum has swung back the other way and it is LEADING TO ABUSE!!! They don’t see it. But it is happening in homes everywhere. Women are being told to be quiet and submit and men think THEIR WAY is God ordained. The signals are getting crossed and this may just ruin more marriages than it hopes to fix. I CAN NOT send a BIGGER warning to the church that they are silently killing their women and promoting their men to idol status. Please…someone with a voice…speak out for us little women with no voice. I pray God removes this veil from my eyes. I pray He sticks up for his daughters with this toxic message.
We have posted this with the permission of the author, who uses the screen name Toiler. Thank you very much, Toiler, for your courage in giving us permission to post your words here. We honour and applaud you for having such a strong desire to get the message out to the churches.
We believe you. We support you. We stand with you. We want to assure you that God loves you, and that your zeal for justice and truth show that you are a loyal follower of Christ. We don’t blame you for not attending church at the moment. Why attend a church which has so egregiously failed to protect you and support you—a church which has fuelled the entitlement mentality of your abusive husband!
As many of you know we highly recommend Lundy Bancroft and his books. (His books are listed on our Resources.) In addition to his books, we also have made our readers aware of youtube videos of presentations by Lundy.
Today we wanted to highlight a YouTube podcast Strategies for Healing from Domestic Abuse & Avoiding Abusers in which Lundy is interviewed by Stephani Roberts at the Audacious Life website. This is a helpful interview, but we do include the following caveat.
Lundy talks a bit about healing after a destructive relationship. We need to advise our readers that Lundy is not a Christian and he mentions yoga and meditation as healing modalities that some survivors have found helpful. He also mentions same sex relationships and how abuse can happen in those too.
As a Christian site, we do not recommend yoga or meditation and we certainly don’t recommend same-sex relationships. We know our readers already understand that, but we have to say it anyway so that our detractors can’t attack us for appearing to endorse those things. The rest of what Lundy say is very helpful, and we thank him very much for his contribution to helping victims and survivors of domestic abuse.
In the interview, Lundy talks about his book Daily Wisdom from Why Does He Do That? [affiliate link*]. He also talks about red flags to watch out for in new relationships and danger signs that you might be dating an abuser. And he warns against the risk of getting into a new relationship without having processed the old one first.
There is a bit of promo material at the beginning and end of the program. By sharing this interview we do not wish to give the impression that we endorse (or don’t endorse) the Audacious Life site altogether. We simply haven’t checked it out.